COMMUNICATING CLEARLY AND PERSUASIVELY WITH AMERICANS

How you organize and structure your communication is just as important to an American as your friendliness, body language and responsiveness. You can have more control over this aspect of your communication style, provided that you have some idea of what that style is. How do you normally prefer to make your point? How do you generally organize your speech in order to make your request, present a recommendation, or state an opinion?

Use the chart in Figure 6.2 to informally assess your own communication style by circling or marking a number on the 1–5 scale for each dimension. By comparing your rating of your style with what Americans prefer, you will be able to see if there are differences that might cause misunderstanding or leave a poor impression on an American listener.

Let us now look at each of these five aspects of communication style in more detail.

Get to the point!

Consider the incident described in Example 7.3.

This approach made such a poor impression on his American audience that senior management began to question his fitness for the job. Before the next quarterly review, the Asian had been moved to another position in which he did not report to senior management.

Why? What went so badly wrong for him?

The biggest “mistake” the Asian made in this situation was to start off with the background factors. To him, this would have seemed an entirely professional approach, and one that in his culture would have been very appropriate. Perhaps your assessment was similar. But that did not work here. His American audience expected the “main point” at the start. His description of difficulties, intended to lead up to the discussion of results, was taken as a statement of his problems, almost as a list of complaints. That was not what they wanted to hear.

You may feel, understandably, that the management treated him harshly. But this unfortunate episode demonstrates the importance of knowing the “rules of the game” when it comes to communicating with senior management.

Most of all, Americans value a person’s willingness to come to the point quickly. (If you are from northern Europe, you may also appreciate this quality, although you may not care for what you see as an American’s over-enthusiasm.) If you appear to want to spend too much time “getting to know” them (in conversation) or discussing topics which seem off-track (in presentations), they first of all think you are wasting their time. Secondly, they may wonder why you delay getting to the point – Is it fear? or lack of confidence? Are you concealing something? This makes a bad impression on an American. Thirdly, as happened here, they may take your “background” as your main point, resulting in serious misunderstanding.

If you rated yourself on Sequence as 4 or 5, pay attention to this aspect of your communication style. Americans will generally respond better to someone at the other end of the scale. When you are meeting an American business partner for the first time, or approaching an American colleague in your organization, he will be most comfortable with this friendly, positive, and direct approach.

Be direct – s-p-e-l-l it out!

One perception that many non-Americans have is that Americans need to have everything clearly “spelled out” in communication. They often seem to be unable or unwilling to draw unstated conclusions or to understand what someone is “really” saying. There is a degree of truth in that view – In business, Americans need to know exactly what you need, what you are proposing, what you can and cannot do, as was illustrated in Example 4.4. You, on the other hand, may wish not to appear too aggressive or too demanding and may therefore be more comfortable expressing your position more indirectly. In that case, perhaps you rated yourself 1 or 2 on the dimension Clarity.

Mixed signals: yes or no?

When it comes to saying “yes” or “no”, Americans sometimes appear to give mixed signals. During a meeting, for example, if a person makes a suggestion using a phrase like “Why don’t we. . .” or “I think it would be good if. . .”, an American might respond with “Great idea!” or “Sounds good. . .” Someone not used to American communication habits might conclude that the person is expressing support for the suggestion. In fact, the American may simply be adding to the friendly positive atmosphere by encouraging his colleague, but without making a specific commitment of support. Keep in mind that you are unlikely to hear a true “yes” (or “no”) from an American unless he knows that there is something very specific and clear being proposed or requested.

Americans are not usually comfortable having to decode such expressions as “Don’t you think you might want to. . .” (as a strong recommendation) or “Without some additional help on this project we will not be able to. . .” (as a polite request), or “That will be very difficult” (as a polite way of saying “no”). You need not fear being regarded as aggressive if you are direct. Your American colleague or partner will take that instead as a positive sign, that you know what you want.

You may even find it harder to say “no” if in your culture this can be regarded as disrespectful. Americans need to know where they stand with you, and unless they are familiar with other cultures in which direct refusal is bad form, they will assume that “yes” means “I agree” or “I will”. They may not realize that you mean to say only “I understand”. They will also assume that “That will be very difficult” means exactly that – there may be difficulties, but you will overcome obstacles and solve the problems. They may not recognize that you mean to communicate “no”.

If this is awkward for you, find a way to say “no” in a friendly way, as in “I’m very sorry but we cannot agree to that” or “That will not work for us”. Americans will understand.

Don’t debate!

The pragmatic orientation of the American mind that we first described in Chapter 3, is first of all toward the application of knowledge and solution of problems. The Latin or Germanic mind, however, may often attach greater importance to determining what is correct, philosophically or technically. Americans are often impatient with what they see as the European’s need to talk at great length about principles and rationale.

Americans do not care for that style, and are put off by the tone. To an American’s ears, a German’s willingness to say “That’s wrong” is unnecessarily blunt. (Yes, we Americans like directness, but not harshness!).(5) The American is equally or more annoyed by a French person’s apparent need to offer a riposte to almost any point that he tries to make in a discussion.

German and French people see this from the opposite perspective. Principles establish the basis for actions, while the “debate” is nothing more than professional expressions of clarity, attentiveness, and interest. The American, on the other hand, views this approach as too abstract, pointless, irrelevant, obstructive, and – as ever – a waste of time. The American wants to know not “Is it correct?” but “Will it work?”

There are, of course, occasions when Americans will adopt or respond to this approach, but it is not common. How did you rate yourself? If 1 or 2, Americans may perceive you as too analytical, too theoretical, too negative.

Approach – “What’s in it for me?’

Version 2 may appear to you as a clear case of good “selling,” and would be effective with anyone. Perhaps. Viewed from a cultural perspective, however, America is a setting in which persuasion must be oriented primarily toward the needs of the individual that you are trying to persuade, not toward the good of the group, nor toward the logical validity of your argument. Americans regard the question “What’s in it for me?” not as selfish, but as self-interested.

In this aspect of communication style, Americans like the best of both worlds. Facts, data, details, measurable results and other “objective” information are essential in any business case. Hunches, instincts, intuitions, or personal obligations are not compelling “drivers” to action. But data is not enough. Americans are looking for solutions to problems and the achievement of individual targets. Analysis is useful, but to persuade an American you must demonstrate measurable direct benefit to his individual business goals. This is naturally the case when selling to an American (or any other) customer, but it is essential when negotiating for resources or support internally.

In version 2, Lars has done just that. He made a proposal that helps meet Jim’s objectives and addresses his concerns. If we set a rating on the scale for the most effective approach to Americans, it would be very near the middle. Americans want the data, but expect you to answer the question, “What’s in it for me?”

Conflict

Handling conflict or disagreement is not easy, regardless of whom we are communicating with, or the language or style we are using. In the preferred American way, this aspect of communication is a matter of clarity and directness, our need to know where we stand. After all, if our goals in business communication are to achieve understanding, reach an agreement, and commit to action, conflicts or disagreements must be made clear and sorted out. Otherwise the path to action and outcome may be blocked. For this reason, Americans may become impatient or even suspicious if they feel that you are trying to avoid confronting a particular problem or issue.

At the same time, we have seen that Americans may be uncomfortable with blunt disagreement, or an argumentative or debating tone. We have also described (Chapter 6) how Americans may be somewhat more cautious when it comes to expressing disagreement or conflict in certain meetings. For now, however, we can summarize the American “comfort zone” this way: if you disagree over an important question, spell it out then and there, and offer a solution. Disagreements, in American business, do not interfere with personal relationships; they are separate from them. Even public disagreements, in front of others, are not likely to cause harm as there is no “honor” at stake. If your disagreement is on something that to the American is unimportant or irrelevant, set it aside and focus on what you are trying to achieve.

In short, Americans appreciate a style compatible with theirs, 1–3 on our conflict scale.

What can we learn from this?

If you have compared your style to that preferred by many American businesspeople, you may have found aspects in which there was a noticeable difference on our informal scale. Those differences are an indication of where and how you can adapt your approach to be more generally persuasive and effective with Americans.

If you found that your style closely matched American preferences, then focus on the final key to communicating with us: a positive attitude.