THE POWER OF A POSITIVE ATTITUDE

In your impressions of Americans, do you find us “enthusiastic” (good) or do you find that we do too much “cheerleading” (bad)? Do you find yourself sometimes distrusting this style? Do you suspect that the person may actually be concealing his lack of confidence, or weaknesses in his proposal? Or do you like this “can do” attitude? Either way, you have observed a quality that is essential in understanding the American way of communicating in business – the importance of expressing confidence.

Americans like to deal with people who appear to have confidence in themselves and their ideas. Expressing confidence shows us that you believe in your idea, that you “own” it, are in control, and take full responsibility for it. If the person speaking to us seems hesitant, tentative, or cautious, we become uncomfortable and may hesitate to offer support. “If you don’t appear to be convinced of your idea, why should I be convinced?” Your confidence in communicating can be more important in persuading Americans to agree, buy, or respond than the actual business and technical details of your argument.

Why would an American prefer version three in this case?

Be positive and optimistic

Like many competitive athletes, we “talk up” our possibilities for success – that helps to motivate us. We do recognize when someone is going too far – being too friendly, exaggerating the benefits or possibilities of success. But the American comfort zone accepts and encourages a greater degree of expressed confidence and enthusiasm than elsewhere. If you’re Dutch or German, all this positive stuff may seem to you unprofessional, unnecessary, even naive. If you’re Japanese or Malay, the individual self-belief and control that an American expresses may seem completely inappropriate to the requirements of group effort. In any case, remember that Americans attach enormous importance to a positive attitude.

In both scenarios, you can see that American reacted best to approach (3). In the first scenario, by the way, we are not suggesting that if you cannot agree to something or respond to a request that you should say “yes” and then “clarify” later. Being optimistic does not mean making false promises.

We Americans are by nature an optimistic people. Pessimism, doubt, or – worse – cynicism have no place where there’s a job to be done. Show your confidence, your willingness to make a commitment, and then we know that you’re motivated.

Play it up, not down

Making positive statements is good; making them in a positive tone is even better. You may make a clear and thorough business or technical case for your product or proposal, but if you communicate it in a tone that is too cool, too analytical, or ironic you may come across to your American friend as not committed to it, or somehow detached from it. Your American friend thinks to himself, “Where’s the energy and drive? It doesn’t sound like he buys into it.” You can and should make those arguments without too much “cheerleading”, but you need to show that you care.

Our European friend has run into trouble. His simple use of irony to make a point has failed, and instead has created an entirely new problem for him. His American boss is beginning to think that he is losing sight of the highest priority.

Do not downplay your company, your needs, and your accomplishments. If you appear to make jokes, ironic comments, or other remarks, however gentle or light-hearted, that seem to imply that your company is not the greatest organization on earth, you will most definitely turn off your American counterpart. You may feel that this attitude shows that you are relaxed, realistic, and credible. An American, on the other hand, may simply not understand your intent, or may hear this as evidence that you do not believe in what you are saying. At best he may think that you simply are trying to appear clever.

Many Americans will, of course, adopt a light-hearted, ironic, or even sarcastic tone when discussing business, but this will occur between people who know each other very well, who have a close collegial relationship, or who simply want to relieve tension or let off steam. Remember that in many situations most Americans regard this kind of tone as negative – unnecessary, irrelevant and ineffective.

So by all means, be friendly and relaxed. But save your jokes and wit for subjects outside business. (Even then you need to be careful, as we shall see in Chapter 9.)