The kids have left home, the job's come to an end, that insurance policy has paid out - and you've just heard about a stunning house for sale in a part of France that is both picturesque and undiscovered. Hallelujah! It's time to go and live the dream.

Or is it? It's estimated that up to fifty per cent of those who leave to realize their dreams abroad do in fact return, often at great personal and financial cost. Dreams may remain just that unless they are supported by realistic planning. So before you down tools and up sticks, try answering these nine questions. The answers may surprise you.

1.  What if one vital thing changes?

What if the local airport stops providing the cheap flights home that will allow you to get back in a hurry to the family? What if poor snowfall becomes a regular occurrence where your ski chalet business is? What if only one of you speaks the language fluently - and that person is taken ill? What if the local shop closes, and you have to drive 10 miles to get anything at all?

You can't predict all the changes that may come, but you can examine your vulnerable points and think abut how you could strengthen them.

2.  What can't you live without?

For some it's a fast broadband connection, for others a constant mobile signal. Perhaps you can't imagine life without a quality daily paper, or a swimming pool. But sometimes rural charm comes at the expense of modern convenience. If it's important to you, make sure it's available where you're planning to go.

It may be less obvious than these examples. If you go to live in Australia or New Zealand, for example, you may find striking modern architecture - but the oldest buildings are little more than 200 years old. Would you miss great cathedrals, stately homes and the mark of history? Will you long for fresh milk? Marmite? tea bags? The smallest things can make a difference.

3.  What will you do when the phone call comes?

And it will come - there's no doubt about that. It's the phone call that says, 'Dad's had a stroke,' or 'Richard's left me and the kids,' or even 'I'm getting married - and I so want you to be there!'  There are plenty of things that help in these situations - email, Skype, webcams - but it's not the same as being there. Few people migrate without leaving any family connections or obligations behind them. What calls would you respond to, and how? What can you afford - in your pocket, and in your heart? 

4.  Are you prepared to learn the language?

If you're going to a country where English is not the first language, then unless you're prepared to learn the new language, you'll always be a visitor.  Some of the English-speaking people you meet will be friendly and helpful, but some may not have your best interests at heart, however pleasant they seem. And when it comes to dealing with officials over questions of property or money, for example, you can only take your English-speaking guide's word for it that you're being given a full and accurate picture. Would you put yourself in that situation at home?

Don't be misled into thinking that because English is spoken in Australia, New Zealand and the US, you won't have anything to learn. You'll certainly have a head start, but it's often a bumpier ride than people expect. As a New Zealander, I'm used to the response 'What do you want a pin for?' when I ask an English person for a pen!

5.  Is the whole family signed up for this plan?

It's easy for one person's dream to sweep the rest of the family along. Very young children often adapt quickly, but teenagers may be furiously resentful at being parted from their friends, especially if language is an issue in their new home. A peaceful rural paradise may look like dullsville to them.

One mother I met in a small French town epitomized this problem. Her husband was out at work all day and her children were at school. They had a large house with a lovely garden, but as she spoke no French, her days often passed without any social contact at all, and she was desperately lonely. No one had really thought about her needs in their new situation.Materially, they were much better off, but she would have left without a second thought if she could.

6.  How much is dream, and how much is reality?

When people learn I'm from New Zealand, they often say something like, 'Oh, I'd love to live there! I've always wanted to go there!' When I ask them how long they think it takes to fly from New Zealand to Australia, the answer is often something like 'One hour.' They're almost always astonished to learn that it takes three and a half hours. New Zealand is a very long way from anywhere! But there are people who've moved their whole family there on the basis of what they've seen on TV and read on the web.

Have you actually been to the place you've chosen? Have you been there in winter, when the restaurants are closed and the tourists have gone? Do you know what a loaf of bread costs and how frequent the buses are - or if there are any buses at all? Far better to get this kind of information before you cash has turned into bricks and mortar.

Perhaps you could make a long visit before you commit yourself. You might be able to rent a property out of season for several months while you get a feel for the place and decide whether a permanent move is a good idea.

7.  Is there an escape plan?

You might be terribly homesick. Your business plan might come to nothing. Something unforeseen might scupper the whole enterprise - a failure to get official approval, illness, no Internet connection, the exchange rate... If that happens, can you extricate yourself without losing your whole life savings? There can be few things worse than finding yourself condemned to pour money into a dream that's gone sour.

8.  What are you leaving behind - and what are you taking with you?

It's tempting to think that you can wipe the slate clean and start afresh in a new country. But if your relationship has gone stale, nothing will reveal it faster than spending large amounts of time with the only other person you know. And if they're the only person for miles who speaks the same language as you, you could be in real trouble. If you already have doubts about the scheme, you might not be able to summon the resolve to carry on when you're faced with baffling bureaucracy in a strange land.

You'll take your strengths with you, but you'll take your weaknesses as well. If you don't like garlic now, buying a cottage in Sicily won't make you into a garlic-lover overnight.

9.  Are you prepared never to make comparisons aloud - unless they are favorable to your new home?

Will a French person be the least bit impressed that at home you could park outside your house all the time, and not change sides of the street mid-month? Will a New Zealander express admiration when you tell them that visits to the doctor in the UK are free?

The odds are that they won't be the slightest bit interested. However it works in their country, that's the way it works, and nothing sours relations faster than someone who constantly says, 'Well, in my country we do X, which is much cheaper/more sensible/faster/more entertaining/more environmentally friendly.'

On the other hand, you can make any number of favorable comparisons - you will only endear yourself to your new fellow citizens. I remember warming to my New Zealand nephew when he exclaimed at the simple but effective way that UK traffic lights distinguish the amber before red from the amber after red. 

Which just goes to show that I now think of myself as a fully paid up UK citizen. And did I follow all my own advice? No - but then, I thought I was only leaving New Zealand for a couple of years at most. It's taken all the thirty years in between to amass all this wisdom...

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