Expatriate children living abroad – or ‘third culture kids’ as they are sometimes known – are often worldly, well-travelled and confident when compared to their peers back home. They have the advantage of being able to mix with many nationalities, are taught by teachers recruited from around the world and experience a very different culture.

This also brings challenges: children who grow up in Hong Kong are at home neither in their parents’ culture nor their foster culture, and may find it difficult to make the transition and feel comfortable in their new multinational peer group. Frequent partings with friends can reinforce this insecurity. International schools have started to take this issue more seriously and have implemented schemes to provide counselling and buddies for new students: English Schools Foundation (ESF) schools have an hour a week for personal and social education built into the curriculum. (More details about ESF schools are below.) Lesley Lewis is a psychologist involved with these programmes and also offers counselling services (lewis@culture3counsel.com; tel. 9055 2211). The Kely Suppport Group (www.kely.org; tel. 9032 9096) provides free counselling and workshops for schoolchildren facing peer pressure, emotional problems, eating disorders and drug- and alcohol-related problems.

Hong Kong is very safe when compared with big Western cities, a particular advantage for teens wanting to stay out late with friends. Being able to jump in a taxi and call home on a mobile phone, both of which are very affordable in Hong Kong, can allay parents’ fears.

A major difference here is that ‘free’ play – just being able to just go outside and play in the garden or have a casual game of football in a park – is virtually impossible in Hong Kong due to pressure on space. You need to join a team, club or class. Concerned parents may find themselves overcompensating for a lack of play space by organizing activity after activity to keep youngsters amused.

PREGNANCY AND CHILDBIRTH

Public versus private

Quite a few women I know have given birth successfully in Hong Kong and received their full pregnancy care, including IVF treatment, through both private and public hospitals here. Where you give birth will be determined to a large extent by where you live, how much money you are prepared to spend and how much privacy you require for your birth. The standard of healthcare in private and good public hospitals is pretty similar. In public hospitals, episiotomy is standard, so you should advise the midwife or doctor during your antenatal visits if you would prefer not to have one. If your antenatal care is with a private doctor, prepare a birth plan and hand it to the midwife when you’re admitted to the hospital. Newborns in Hong Kong are routinely given BCG, polio and hepatitis B vaccinations.

Partners are generally allowed into the labour ward and newborns are allowed to stay in the room with their mothers. In private hospitals, you can expect more perks, such as having a ‘lodger’ stay for free, a complimentary baby care product set and web-baby photo service.

A full list of public hospitals, grouped by location, is available on the Hospital Authority’s website (www.ha.org.hk). A list of registered private hospitals is available at www.dh.gov.hk/english/main/main_orhi/list_ph.htm.

Fees

Private hospitals such as the Matilda (www.matilda.org), Canossa Hospital (www.canossahospital.org) and Hong Kong Adventist Hospital (www.hkah.org.hk) have a range of maternity packages that cost between $20,000 and $100,000+. By contrast, public hospitals such as the university teaching hospital Queen Mary (www3.ha.org.hk/qmh/index.htm) charge $68 per visit for Hong Kong residents, which includes all procedures. Queen Mary and some other public hospitals also offer a private service (single and double bedrooms, rather than a shared ward), which costs $2,000–3,500 per day. A normal delivery costs around $4,880 and a Caesarean Section is between $20,000 and $41,000 plus anaesthesia charges.

If you decide to move from the general ward to a private room after the birth, all medical procedures (including the delivery) and doctor’s fees are recalculated based on your new accommodation.

Birthing experiences

An Australian friend in her late thirties chose to go public to have her baby daughter. She had her antenatal care at Tsan Yuk and delivery at Queen Mary, and said that ‘you couldn’t have paid for better care than we had’. The only thing she would advise new mothers to do is to hire the services of a qualified midwife to help with lactation from the day of the birth: hospital staff were too busy to spend the time required to assist and she had problems breastfeeding. She then went to her (private) GP for post-natal baby clinic check-ups, a service that is often free for patients’ babies.

Another expat woman’s experience and opinions, entitled Having Babies in Hong Kong: A Guide to Pregnancy, Childbirth & Raising Kids in Hong Kong, is posted at http://home.ust.hk/∼lbcaplan/hkbb/hkbb.html. For the latest discussion and opinion, visit the Pregnancy Forum at www.geobaby.com.

For information about women’s health, sexual health, pregnancy, smear tests and so on, log onto the Family Planning Association of Hong Kong’s website (www.famplan.org.hk), which offers a free e-counselling service.

Breastfeeding

Hong Kong society is not particularly comfortable with women breastfeeding in public. La Leche League (www.lllhk.org) offers information, support and encouragement to women who want to breastfeed, and holds regular meetings that are advertised in HK Magazine or via its website.

Baby products

Details of where to find baby clothes and baby products are provided in Chapter Seven, ‘Shopping’.

Mother and baby groups

Associations such as the American Women’s Association (AWA – www.awa.org.hk) and the Australian Association (www.ozhongkong.com/) are good places to network with other young mums and share information. The AWA has several Moms and Toddlers groups that meet for coffee and tea and conversation at child-friendly venues. The Australian Association has a monthly ‘Mother and Toddlers’ meeting in Happy Valley. As there is no official regulation or accreditation of private companies offering babysitting services or running playgroups, word-of-mouth plays an important part in helping mums to decide the best pre-school activities and care for their children.

The YMCA in TST (www.ymcahk.org.hk; tel. 2268 7756) hosts an English language ‘Parents and Toddlers’ group every Monday and Thursday morning for children from newborns to three years old. Attending a meeting costs $55 and it is run on a first come, first served basis. One of the longest-running pre-school organizations offering help and advice to parents is the Hong Kong Pre-School Playgroups Association (HKPPA – 2/F, East Wing, 12 Borrett Road, Mid-Levels; tel. 2523 2599), which:

• runs ‘open play’ sessions for members on alternate weekdays; HKPPA membership is $320 and no pre-registration required;
• holds a ‘Mother and Baby Group’ on weekday mornings; and
• has health visitors that provide weekly check-ups for three months, costing $650.

Other HKPPA-linked playgroups for babies and young toddlers can be found in Heng Fa Chuen (tel. 2898 2308), Tai Hang Road (tel. 2576 5859) and Tai Po (tel. 2640 2014).

Other expat-oriented mother and baby groups include the ‘Matilda Mum and Baby Group’ (details on the Matilda Hospital website) and those connected with family-oriented churches, such as St Stephen’s Chapel, Stanley, which has a Sunday service crèche facility and daily ‘Mother and Toddler’ group meetings, the English-speaking Methodist Church Alice Playgroup (271 Queen’s Road East, Wanchai, tel. 2575 3105) and St John’s Cathedral (Tuesday and Thursday – $30/child; tel. 2523 4157).

Classes and workshops

Antenatal, post-natal classes and midwives

Most public hospitals provide antenatal classes for a modest fee. There are also workshops held by various private companies, such as Annerley Midwives (Room 1801, Car Po Commercial Building, 18–20 Lyndhurst Terrace, Central; www.annerly.com.hk). The staff is made up of Western-trained midwives and nurses. Classes offered include antenatal classes, infant/toddler CPR workshops, yoga sessions and baby massage. They also offer sale and rental of breast pumps, babysitting and nanny services. The Everdawn Midwives Counseling Service (Room 1502, Star Commercial Building, 366 Lockhart Road, Wanchai; tel. 2705 9322) offers bilingual Chinese/English services, including home delivery, antenatal classes, postnatal visits and lactation consultation. They also sell nursing and baby products.

Parenting skills

The Matilda Hospital offers courses in parentcraft, as well as antenatal sessions and holistic care. The YWCA (see below) runs classes on Parent Effectiveness.

Babies and toddlers

The YWCA English-Speaking Members Department (3/F, 1 MacDonnell Road, Central; http://esmd.ywca.org.hk) has a range of courses for mothers and young children under the ‘Parents and Parents-to-Be’ section of their programme, including baby care and healthy cooking for toddlers.

Play and movement classes for babies include:

• body-stimulating PEKip (www.pekip.com.hk; tel. 2573 6623) for mothers and babies from six weeks to ten months old;
• Kindermusik by Catherine (www.kateskids.com.hk; tel. 2518 4840) for children up to seven years old; and
• Gymboree Play & Music (www.gymboree.com.hk; tel. 2899 2210), for children up to four years old.