John was a lieutenant in the Royal Artillery on a short-term commission. After a spell in Germany he was posted to Singapore to join the regiment that, in the Second World War, had guns pointing out to sea as Japanese troops entered Singapore in February 1942, having bicycled through the Malaysian jungle.

John was a typical young officer; public-school educated, keen on sport, parties and women. The officer’s mess, a fine colonial building set on a hill with splendid views over the parade ground to the blue sea beyond, housed a hard-drinking group of unmarried officers. John frequently drank far more Anchor beer than was good for him (he blamed the humidity!) and ran up some mess bills that stretched his meagre finances to breaking point.

As the most junior subaltern in the officer’s mess and the newest arrival, poor John was allocated some of the least popular regimental duties. He was, for example, cinema officer. This wasn’t a particularly onerous responsibility. The cinema was run by a sergeant who was in attendance every evening. Each morning the sergeant would arrive with the takings from the evening before. John had to check that the amount tallied with the ticket sales, enter the total in the cinema account ledger, and bank the money. The convenience of having a steady stream of ready cash meant that John sometimes delayed taking it to the bank. Instead he used it to pay off his tailor and fund his carefree lifestyle. Of course, he only ‘borrowed’ the money and used to make up any deficit by paying in a cheque at the end of the month once he had received his pay.

Once, about half-way through a month, when John owed the cinema account a fair sum of money, the adjutant rang and asked John to report to his office with the ledger and any petty cash he was holding. This was the first time John had been involved in a spot check and he quickly worked out the deficit and rushed round to all his friends explaining the nature of the crisis and borrowing cash. After half an hour or so he had amassed enough petty cash and presented himself at the adjutant’s office. He received two rebukes; firstly, for being late and, secondly, for holding too much cash and not banking it frequently enough. Much relieved, John returned the money to his friends and discontinued his practice of borrowing money from the cinema account.

Another of John’s unenviable jobs was to look after the regiment’s transport. When he first arrived this amounted to a substantial fleet of lorries, gun trailers, Land Rovers and staff cars. However, the regiment was in the process of disbanding and gradually the fleet of vehicles dwindled as they were transferred to other regiments in the area. This wouldn’t have been a problem except when senior officers telephoned and demanded transport that John didn’t have! Even though he was powerless to solve the problem, various senior officers, expecting an instant taxi service, used to become abusive. As more and more vehicles were disposed of, trying to pacify irate officers over the phone became a daily occurrence.

One day, when all the available vehicles were out on various jobs, the phone rang yet again and, exasperated, John snatched up the receiver and barked, ‘Fraser here!’ Colonel Fraser was the regiment’s Commanding Officer and at various parties John had amused his colleagues with near-perfect imitations of the CO’s voice. The major at the other end of the line apologised profusely, assuming that he had dialled the wrong number. By the time the hapless major had redialled, John, forewarned, had taken the phone off the hook.

John used this trick successfully for some weeks until, out of the blue, the colonel himself telephoned. This had never happened before. On previous occasions when the colonel wanted transport it had always been booked for him by the adjutant’s clerk. After John had barked his customary, ‘Fraser here!’ there was an ominous silence. Then, like an echo, the familiar voice said, ‘Fraser here! Report to my office at the double.’

The colonel demanded an explanation and John told him about his predicament. Although the colonel seemed sympathetic, even impressed with John’s ingenuity, he nonetheless punished him for impersonating a senior officer. John was made duty officer for four consecutive weekends.

The good news was that being gated for a month gave John the opportunity to put his finances on a surer footing.