Geoff was the general manager of a medium-sized supermarket situated on the outskirts of a prosperous town. The store was particularly busy because it had an ample car park, unlike a couple of competitors that occupied premises that were closer to the town centre.

Geoff’s store (it wasn’t actually his since it belonged to a nation-wide group) carried all the usual lines – perishable goods, tins of this and that, wines and spirits, newspapers and magazines. Geoff was slightly overweight and had a decidedly florid complexion (possibly due to overindulging when, for many years, he had been in the wine trade before joining the supermarket as a departmental manager). Unfortunately, he was a man with a low tolerance for mistakes (he called them avoidable human errors). When something fell short of his high standards – and that was often – he was likely to lose his temper. He had reduced many an innocent check-out girl, fresh from school, to tears as he castigated them over some petty inadequacy. His tantrums were, however, short-lived and the more experienced members of his staff had long since learned to sit tight and ride out the storm.

One day, head office phoned Geoff to say that his store was one of three chosen to take part in a customer relations survey. An outside consultant had been hired and would initially spend a day in each store eavesdropping on the interactions between staff and customers. Geoff thought about this and decided not to tell his staff about the consultant’s visit because he wanted the store to be seen ‘warts and all’.

The day for the visit arrived and Geoff welcomed the consultant and briefed him. The consultant had misgivings about the clandestine nature of the operation and asked Geoff what would happen when staff realised that there was a customer in the store wandering up and down the aisles not buying anything. Geoff told the consultant to refer any members of staff who might have the audacity to challenge him straight to Geoff who would personally deal with the situation.

After an hour or so, the consultant stopped at the vegetable counter to make a note about an exchange he had just heard between a shelf-filler and a distraught customer. Suddenly, a large man pounced on him with a roar and frog-marched him out of the building. The consultant, utterly shocked at being manhandled in this way, managed to splutter, ‘Geoff will vouch for me – check with him.’

It transpired that rival supermarkets frequently despatched ‘spies’ to note prices, particularly of seasonal, perishable goods such as vegetables. The poor consultant, ignorant of this, had unfortunately fished his notebook out of his pocket whilst standing beside the vegetables and been taken for a spy. Geoff, of course, lost his temper with the overzealous ‘bouncer’ and reinstated the consultant but suggested that it might be safer to make his observations from behind a stack of baked bean tins on special offer – the equivalent of a birdwatcher’s hide.

When the consultant had completed his surveys in the three selected stores, a meeting was called to consider next steps in the light of the consultant’s preliminary findings. The consultant presented a list of improvement areas he had compiled as a result of his observations. Geoff and the managers from the other two stores were invited to attend, together with some directors from HQ.

As the consultant ran down his list, Geoff held his head in his hands and moaned, ‘A can of worms. You’ve opened a can of worms.’ For a while people ignored this odd reaction, but eventually, able to take it no more, a director turned to Geoff and snapped, ‘For God’s sake shut up, Geoff. We don’t stock cans of worms!’