I’ve already made the point in Chapter 1 that managing people well is a hard job. There are many managers who believe they manage well and then go on to tell you about the hassle they have with some of their people and how stressed it makes them feel. That to me is not what managing well is all about. Throughout this book I’m talking about managing people in a way that’s easy for you and ensures you achieve your outcomes.

One of the reasons I said that a manager’s job is tough is because every member of your team is different. Do you remember my story about driving the car – how every model is different? However, if you understand the particular car, know which buttons to push and the direction to steer it in, then life becomes much easier. So it’s important to spend time getting to know the particular model you’re dealing with – or in your case, the members of your team.

It’s also an ongoing process because people change constantly and they’re much more complex than any car will ever be. If you’re married or have ever been in a long-term relationship then I bet there have been times when you’ve said, ‘I just don’t understand this person.’ I was married for fifteen years and I knew my wife for five years before that. I was still finding out things about Elizabeth in year twenty that I never knew about her before.

If you want to make your job easy and achieve your outcomes then you need to get to know your people – you need to spend quality time with them. In Chapter 2 I talked about the Five Factors of Success. This is number four – Rapport. Successful people are good at it and it follows that successful managers are too. If you’ve forgotten what I said about it, take a look back at Chapter 2.

I’ve worked for several managers and the only thing that some of them knew about me was that I was male and I could breathe in and out. So I didn’t think much of them either. I know you’re not like that, but I’m also sure you’re not spending the quality time you should be with your team.

WHY DO IT?

Let’s look at some of the benefits of spending quality time with your people:

• You’ll get to understand them better.
• You’ll get to understand how they’re handling the job.
• It will help you build a relationship with each individual.
• It will give them the impression that you care about them as individuals (a big motivator).
• It will show that you’re there to help with problems.
• It encourages opinions and ideas to flow from them.
• It allows you to explain the company’s mission.
• It gives them a feeling of being ‘in on things’ (another big motivator).
• It helps them get to know you.
• You will get an early warning of any problems, business or personal.
• It builds team spirit and morale.
• It gives you a chance to give them feedback on their performance (another big motivator).
• It gives them the chance to give you feedback on your performance (scary).

• It allows you to coach on the job, which helps them to learn and grow.
• And of course – it helps you to achieve your outcomes and minimise your stress.

Let’s take a closer look at eight of these benefits of spending quality time:

Benefit 1 – You get to understand them better

One of my clients is an industrial equipment hire company. They have depots throughout the country and hire out all sorts of tools and equipment. The tools are stored at the depots where a team of engineers carries out the maintenance. One of these teams is supervised by a guy called Steve. Steve was a real ‘problem child’ at work, always complaining or whinging. He was a real headache for his boss, the General Manager, Bill. They always seemed to be arguing about something or other. One day Bill tells me, ‘I’m sending Steve on your customer service course. I want you to sort him out.’ As you’ll appreciate, I don’t run customer service courses to ‘sort people out’.

Steve attended the course and gave us all his thoughts on why the company’s service was so bad and why they were wasting their money on courses like this. Now you may wonder why they didn’t get rid of Steve. However, even though he was so difficult to deal with, he did a pretty good job. Of course, the team that he was supervising always seemed to have problems as well.

I ran quite a few courses for this company and regularly came into contact with Steve in and around the office. He usually just gave me a grunt as we passed and gave the distinct impression that he didn’t think much of me.

One day I was sitting waiting in the reception area to see Bill; Steve appeared in reception, gave his usual grunt and sat down; he was also waiting for a word with Bill. My natural reaction was to let Steve stew in his own juice. However, I decided to practise a bit of what I preach. ‘How are you Steve?’ I asked. ‘How’s that football team of yours doing in the league?’ Now I knew that Steve was a big football fan and my interest and questions started him talking. I’m not a football expert but I knew enough to keep the conversation going. After a while we exhausted that topic so I asked him, ‘Are you married Steve?’ ‘Yes, why?’ Like no one had ever asked him that question before. ‘Been married long?’ ‘Yes, twelve years.’ ‘Any children?’ ‘No, but Jo’s pregnant at the moment.’ He then went on to tell me how they both wanted children very much but they’d had lots of problems in trying to start a family.

I just expressed interest and understanding and kept listening.

When I eventually went into Bill’s office I asked him, ‘Did you know that Steve’s wife is pregnant?’ Bill gave me a disinterested response. I persevered. ‘Seems like they’ve had a lot of problems.’ ‘So what?’ was the reply, so we got down to business

From that day forward Steve and I had a different relationship. When we’d pass in the office or the yard it was always, ‘How’s it going Al?’ I’d respond with a joking remark about his football team or sometimes just enquire how Jo was doing with the new baby. Steve was always going to be a difficult guy to deal with and I knew that we would never be best buddies. However, I do know that if I had been Steve’s boss then we could have worked pretty well together. If Bill could only get this message, he could make both their lives much easier.

This story always reminds me of something Abraham Lincoln once said. ‘I don’t think I like that man, I must get to know him better.’

It’s very easy for a manager to fall into the trap of condemning one of their team as a no-hoper or a problem child. It may turn out that this person shouldn’t be on your team. However, you need to try the Abraham Lincoln theory first.

Of course, we’re not just talking about difficult members of your team; we’re talking about all of them and how important it is to understand them as individuals. It’s important because it’s important to them.

As Dr Phillip C. McGraw says in his book, Life Strategies: ‘The number one need among all people is acceptance.’

Your team want to know that you accept them from a work point of view but they also want you to accept them just for who they are.

Find out as much as you can about your team; their background, where they’re from, families, pets, hobbies, sports and their views on the world. Find out their philosophies and faiths, how they think and how they feel. Just think about it like any other relationship – what do you want to know about this person?

Now I’m not suggesting you sit around all day gazing into each other’s eyes or spend half the night on the phone. I’m suggesting you do this over time and slowly but surely build up your understanding of each person. I also know that you’re starting to get a bit nervous about this and might think it’s prying. You’re also thinking that your team members won’t want you to get to know them that well. Let me reassure you – most of them will, if it’s done discretely. And in a short while I’m going to give you some questions to ask.

Almost everyone wants to know that someone is genuinely and positively interested in them. They may not always give that impression by their demeanour, but trust me – they want to know you care; they want acceptance from you. If they know you care about them, then your relationship will be much more productive.

Benefit 2 – You find out how they’re handling the job

As well as getting to know the members of your team on a human or personal basis, you need to get to know them on a business basis. How are they getting along with the job? And it’s not a matter of asking, ‘How’s the job going?’ If you ask that then you may get a list of complaints or you may just get, ‘It’s all going fine.’

In some ways it’s better to get the complaints, because then you have a chance to do something about them or at least show you care. It’s just like good customer service; you really need to know from customers who aren’t happy so that you can put it right. Too many customers don’t say anything to you and just moan to other people. Does that sound like any of your team?

I have a friend, Brian, who is General Manager for a small construction company. He always seems to have a high turnover of staff, particularly the people in the office. One day he tells me, ‘Had to get rid of another girl today; totally useless and wasn’t doing the job properly.’ I started to ask him about how he hired people and about their initial and ongoing training.

‘When they start on day one I put them with Susan; she’s been here for years and she knows the ropes. Susan supervises them, keeps them right and lets me know if they haven’t worked out.’ ‘But who’s their manager?’ I asked him. ‘I am,’ he says. ‘Do you ever check to see if they understand the job?’ was my next question. ‘I ask them how they’re doing and they usually say “Fine!”’

The analysis of this situation is this: Susan tells the new employee, ‘Do this, do that; when a customer phones, fill in the form and if there’s a problem just deal with it.’

Of course, what Brian needs to do is spend more time with the new employee; not hours and hours, just enough to really find out if she knows the job.

You can imagine what Brian is paying in recruitment costs, over and above the hassle of interviewing, starting new people and then getting rid of some of them. Spending a bit more time with new employees could reduce his costs and his stress.

You need to know how your team members are handling the job so you need to ask the right questions. Again, in a short while, I’ll show you some questions to ask.

Benefit 3 – It helps you deal with problems

One of the main benefits of spending time with your team is that it lets them know you’re there to help with problems. Of course, you’re not there necessarily to solve their problems but to coach them to solve their problems (more of this in Chapter 8).

It also gives you an early warning of any personal or business problems that could occur. A team member might tell you about one of their children having a problem at school that could lead to something more serious. They might even indicate a problem in their marriage or relationship. You can see the storm clouds brewing or it may just be a squall, but one way or another you’ll be ready.

Having regular contact with your team also prepares you for any potential business problems, such as failing to meet your target or product supply problems or anything else that will affect your outcomes.

Benefit 4 – Your team get to know you

Spending time with your team lets them get to know you. When I’m running a training course, particularly a two- or a five-day course, I’m often surprised by the participants’ interest in me. Sometimes I think it’s just polite conversation. However, most of the time that doesn’t seem to be the case. They always want to know how old I am for some reason.

Your team will want to know about you at both a personal and business level. Again, that doesn’t mean sharing your intimate thoughts but it’s similar to the things you want to know about them. Even though team members don’t ask you about yourself, tell them. Reveal bits and pieces about yourself over a period of time. Good professional speakers know this. They let their audiences know various things about themselves that show their idiosyncrasies or little mistakes they’ve made. What you’re really saying is, ‘I’m human, I’m like you, I experience the same situations.’

A lady approached me after one of my presentation skills seminars. She said, ‘I was really interested when you said you were nervous before giving a speech; that made me feel so much better knowing you’re just like me.’

Your team members want to know that ‘you’re just like them’. This is not detrimental to your role as a manager or team leader – in fact, it enhances it.

Benefit 5 – You have the opportunity to give them feedback and coach them

This is one of the most important things the Motivational Manager can do. This is your opportunity to tell them the things that you do like about their performance and also the things you don’t like. Too often managers leave feedback until a performance review and these are often only once or twice a year.

When managers see things they don’t like they often put off speaking to the team member about it until things become really serious. And commenting on things they do like isn’t generally done often enough.

When you spend time with your team and see things you don’t like, it gives you an ideal opportunity to coach them on the job.

The whole aspect of feedback and coaching is so important that we’re going to look at it in much greater detail in Chapter 5.

Benefit 6 – They have the opportunity to give you feedback

Now this may make you feel a bit nervous and it certainly can be scary when you’re not used to it, but it is very motivational. If you create a healthy open environment in your team then they should feel comfortable giving feedback to you. It may not always be what you want to hear but it can certainly improve your relationship with them.

Benefit 7 – It encourages opinions and ideas to flow from the team

It will often be the case that members of your team have positive suggestions that will benefit the team, the business and you. However, they may not always be willing to seek you out and tell you about them. Perhaps they may feel foolish or embarrassed in front of their colleagues. If you’re spending time with them, this is the ideal opportunity for them to give you their thoughts. Of course, you sometimes have to dig this out and encourage it.

Not all of their ideas will be successfully implemented. However, encouraging ideas builds the team member’s confidence in you and the organisation and it’s good for morale.

Benefit 8 – It allows you to explain the company’s mission and the team’s role in this

When you spend time with each individual it gives you the opportunity to explain how the business is going and how the team is performing. This is often done at a team brief and that’s okay. However, in a one-to-one situation you can discuss in more depth and encourage ideas and feedback from them as described above. One of the biggest motivators for people at work is a feeling of being ‘in on things’. People at work want to know what’s going on and they want to feel involved. We’ll look at this closer in Chapter 9.