REACTING TO THE REDUNDANCY

‘I’m sorry to have to tell you …’. There is no good way of being told that your job is no longer there for you to have! You may hear rumours for months before anything concrete happens. You may see other people go over a period of time. The company may become less busy. You wonder and worry.

During this time you may feel hopeful, frustrated and anxious. You may feel inclined to try even harder so that you won’t be the one to go. Then, when the inevitable happens — you will feel stunned. You might go through a period of denial — a time when it doesn’t sink in, you might have feelings of euphoria without the implications being acknowledged. You may experience elation at the thought of release from a job you hated. You may feel threatened over losing financial security. You may feel sad at the idea of losing touch with friends.

When it comes out of the blue, it is a huge shock and there is more likelihood of a grudge against the company. Why didn’t they let anyone know?

Redundancy is now becoming an accepted word in our society. The structure of work is changing. Once we followed the traditional pattern of:

Redundancy is not necessarily linked to talent — it is usually about cost effectiveness and the restructuring of the business. But it may not feel like that when it happens to you.

We spend a lot of our waking hours at work. We gain the skills and knowledge for the job, we apply for the position, attend an interview and we then put time and effort into actually working.

Why do we work?

There are several reasons why we work — the main ones being power, status and money. We need to put a roof over our head and food in our mouth to survive and for this we need money. We may enjoy the trappings of luxury which indicate to others our worldly success. In our society, we tend to measure our worth by our possessions.

Many of us seek to express our identity through work and when our work is taken away — who are we? Where do we place ourselves in society? We often see ourselves through the eyes of others. When we believe others respect us, it means we have status. If we sense others are ridiculing us, we feel shame and anger and think of ourselves in a negative way. We believe that when we do our job of work, we are someone, others notice us, we have a place. When we have no work, we may feel lost, without purpose or not good enough to get by on the merit of our personality alone. We tend to judge ourselves and each other by what we have and what we do — not who we are.

We may seek to have power (financial or control over others) through our work. When this power is taken away from us, we may feel helpless.

Using career counselling

Some companies offer career counselling as part of the redundancy package. This may be a good option to take up or you could decide to use an external careers counsellor. The service may offer psychometric testing for assessing your interests, personality and skills together with guidance on refocusing your career direction and on training opportunities. At the very least, companies should offer you job-hunting time.

SAYING GOODBYE

The last few days

Some companies request that you leave the premises immediately you receive redundancy notice so that you don’t affect other staff or do anything detrimental to the company. Most companies, however, require some notice to be worked. This can be difficult. Motivation is low and feelings are high. You don’t feel inclined to do your job which will make money for the company which is rejecting you. You may experience the bitterness of the ‘why me?’ syndrome and want it to be someone else.

The time between when you know and when you go is bound to be tense. Ideally just working out your notice to the best of your ability and making the best of a bad situation is the easiest way through a very difficult situation. You may dream about taking your redundancy money and blowing it — for the first time in your life, you may have more money than you’ve ever had. Dream a little! And it’s never too early to start looking for another job.

• Checkpoint
  It may be worth while negotiating to take a lump sum and leave rather than work out your notice.

Beginning to network

It is a good idea to begin developing contacts (networking) before you finally leave the company (or when you begin to hear rumours). Colleagues and management in particular can be useful. Networking is an invaluable key to your next job. Don’t be shy of telling people you’ve been made redundant.

Be a floater

Accessing and sharing information with others.

Get a mentor

The definition of a mentor is someone who coaches and gives advice. To acquire a mentor you need to be seen to have qualities which suggest you are going somewhere.

Get sponsors

A sponsor is someone who promotes you to others. Being well perceived and possessing a high level of visibility are vital.

Network your boss

Assisting your boss to strengthen his/her network is likely to result in opportunities for you. Identify your boss’s route of networking and get visibility on this route. Networking your boss to key personnel (inside and outside your company) should connect you with some vital people and give you extra opportunities.

• Networking project
  Draw up an organisational chart adding the names and job titles for your organisation or department. Who could be of help to you?

DEALING WITH LOSS

A combination of any of these could indicate that you are going through the grieving process. This process is where we honour the loss of job, status and friends amongst other things.

What do we lose?

Self esteem

Our sense of who we are, and our security surrounding our place in society, as defined through work, can feel threatened. We may feel shaky about our skills and knowledge. Weren’t we good enough for the job? Are we good enough to get another job?

Dignity

Most of us develop a sense of pride in what we do for a living. There is a sense of ownership and attachment to what we have produced. When this living is taken away from us, we see the beliefs and values which we have attached to our work disappear.

Personal fulfilment

Work can provide a great deal of satisfaction. It affirms what we can do and what we know. It can affirm that we are needed. When work is no longer there, we may find it hard to find pleasure in more basic achievements.

Status

There may be feelings of shame attached to the label of redundant. Although nowadays there is more sympathy, there is still an ingrained sense of shame in the belief that we are not wanted. We take it as a personal affront, men in particular believing their identity is linked to their work.

Income

This is a major loss. If we don’t have money, how will we eat, keep a roof over our heads and pay the bills? Linked to this is the loss of luxuries — the car, the holiday, the meals out. What will happen to the savings?

Independence

For many of us, work represents financial independence. It may also represent independence from the role of parent or carer. Work may be seen as a place where we can be expressive and free.

Lifestyle

Certain lifestyles can be connected with many jobs, e.g. sales or management. Overnight stays, company cars or entertaining are some of the perks we may lose when made redundant.

Property

When faced with redundancy, one of the major fears is the loss of our home. It may be that our home is linked directly with our job, e.g. caretaking or if we work for a bank. Even if our home is not directly linked, there is the threat of it being taken away if we don’t keep up the mortgage repayments.

What complicates loss?

Lack of community support

One of the first questions we normally ask someone we first meet is ‘what do you do’? If at that point we are not working, we may feel uncomfortable with this question. It is indicative of our society that we label each other by our work.

Change

Part of the human condition is a need to feel safe and secure. We do not mind change so much if we are in control, but when external circumstances force our hand, we tend to react with hostility and fear.

Anxiety about making decisions

When we are made redundant, we face the unknown. We have to make decisions about ourselves, what we want and how we are going to get it. Many of us fear making decisions because we don’t want to make the wrong ones — so we don’t make any and end up feeling lost and frustrated.

Inability to share feelings

Redundancy invariably produces an emotional reaction and emotions can be difficult to handle, especially if there is a lack of support or acceptance around us. If we are not happy with our own emotions, we tend to reject the emotions of others.

Family discord

At the time of losing our job, we may already be experiencing difficulties in our personal relationships. Redundancy may make these communication problems even more pronounced.

Presence of concurrent life crises

Sometimes life seems to empty all the negative out at once. It may be that we are experiencing problems in other areas of our life and then just to cap it all along comes redundancy.

The grieving cycle

• AThe pattern of life prior to redundancy. During this time we may be advancing in our work and getting a sense of achievement. Or may be we are hating our work or feeling uncomfortable with those we work with.
• BThe loss and shock due to redundancy with maybe a temporary numbness or disbelief. Some people may react with excessive activity, others with depression. There may be a feeling of unity with others in the company at the sense of loss. There may be feelings of alienation. The world stands still when we hear that we are being made redundant. We don’t want to believe our world is falling apart. We don’t want to believe that someone doesn’t want us. We don’t want to believe we are dispensable. We go blank. We may stay blank. We don’t talk about it. We may immerse ourselves in activity so we don’t think about it. We just can’t believe it. Redundancy happens to other people. Not us. But it has happened and we have to deal with it somehow. We feel apart, alone, separate. We may not want to tell our family and friends — they have jobs, we don’t. We may feel separate from colleagues at work who still have their jobs.
• CEmotional reaction such as anger, powerlessness, guilt. We hang our heads, we hide away in shame. The great British stiff upper lip shows itself. Don’t cry or shout, don’t lose control because you’ve lost your job. Feeling powerless and out of control of our employment is a frightening state. We feel small, helpless and vulnerable, like a child again. Anger at your boss, at the company, the managing director, God, the government. Underlying anger which you feel at yourself may be redirected at your family. Anger turned inwards against the self can often turn into depression and apathy. Low self esteem and lack of confidence may evolve. Internal tension such as nervous anxiety may show itself. Psychosomatic ailments such as backache, headache or an illness may manifest. We feel self pity. With the confusion and mood swings that come with redundancy, we may not feel like exposing ourselves to the act of love-making.
• DOnset of the grieving process where the reality of redundancy is experienced.
• EChange where the loss is accepted and the idea of re-employment becomes a reality.
• FRebuilding a new working life.

Guidelines for healthy grieving

• to accept my sense of loss
• to let my feelings flow
• not to try to replace the loss immediately
• to let myself be with the pain of loss
• to talk to safe people about my feelings
• to take good care of myself
• to involve myself with meaningful activity
• to have fun
• to take the time I need.

Working with anger

Anger is a primary emotion following redundancy. It is fuelled by a sense of frustration and powerlessness. It may also be a cover for fear and anxiety about the future.

Getting angry helps us to:

• discover what happened and what is happening to us
• set limits where necessary
• grieve for our losses
• get our needs met
• discover what is beneath our anger
• be assertive
• get things off our chest.

Repressed anger can cause:

• resentment
• self pity
• stress
• anxiety
• depression
• sadness
• lack of concentration
• physical illness.

Choices in handling anger

• smother it and experience numbness
• hold it in until it becomes resentment
• let it fester away inside until it becomes a physical illness
• displace the anger and cover it with work, eating, drugs or alcohol
• express it appropriately.

Expressing the anger appropriately

• grieve
• do some physical activity e.g. exercise
• punch a cushion
• scream into a pillow
• scream in your car with the windows wound up
• write an ‘open letter’ stating exactly how you feel (then keep it or burn it)
• tear up newspapers, magazines or the phone book
• cry
• take control and take action e.g. plan your job search.

Self evaluation of anger

• 1.Do you believe you have a right to be angry?
• 2.If you do express anger, how do you do it? Are you aggressive, assertive, stubborn, complaining, rebellious?
• 3.Identify what you feel is being hurt and threatened by your anger.
• 4.List specific examples of your behaviour that indicate you can express anger in a healthy way.

Making friends with fear

Fear can be a debilitating emotion. But it is natural and it is better to make a friend of fear and to work with it than to be afraid of fear itself.

We may fear:

the loss of purpose and meaning in our lives	the loss of status
the loss of job and material possessions	the unknown
unpredictability	the loss of control
looking foolish	change
loss of financial security	making decisions
changing a career	asserting oneself
being interviewed	making a mistake
rejection	success
failure	being vulnerable
loss of image	disapproval
helplessness	filling in forms

Questions we ask ourselves

• How will I financially survive?
• Ami too old to get another job?
• What will my friends say?
• Will my home be taken away?
• What will the neighbours say?
• Who else will want me?
• What will happen to me?
• How do I tell my partner?
• How do I pay my bills?

Low self esteem

When we experience low self esteem, we may:

• fear rejection
• fear failure
• need to be perfect
• appear incompetent
• have a negative self-image.

As our self esteem increases, we:

• become more confident
• express feelings
• take risks
• act more assertively.

COPING WITH THE FIRST FEW DAYS

Lazing around

We are so used to ‘doing’, we may find it hard to let go. The first few days or weeks after you have finished work, you may feel lost — without purpose. Try to use this time to create some space to have fun, to let go. It may be hard for the mind to stop, but it can be helpful to slow down and allow a sense of positive freedom to enter.

Catching up

You could use some of the time to catch up on those odd jobs. This may help with a sense of achievement and usefulness. You could:

• finish some household chores
• catch up on paperwork
• do some DIY
• see old friends
• indulge your hobbies.

Nurture yourself

If we have lost our job, we can spend a lot of time mentally beating ourselves up. We forget to forgive ourselves, to take care of ourselves. If our best friend had lost their job, we would listen to them, be with them, help to cheer them up. So maybe we need to treat ourselves as our own best friend. We need to have fun, to nurture ourselves. Maybe you could:

• visit some interesting places
• buy yourself something special you can afford
• listen to a positive and motivational tape
• meditate.

Being with family and friends

Emotional support from family and partners is vital for you to feel valued and accepted. It is good to have special people who will listen to you.

Your thought process

Our thought process gives rise to our reality in life. If we have negative beliefs, we experience negative outcomes in life. When we experience positive self talk, we then have a good chance of experiencing the best that life can offer. One way in which we can identify negative beliefs is by managing four different parts of our nature that send us messages:

• The critic
  ‘What a disappointment you are —’
  ‘You can’t provide for your family —’
• The perfectionist
  ‘You should —’
  ‘You must —’
• The worrier
  ‘What if—’
  ‘We won’t have a roof over our heads —’
• The victim
  ‘I’ll never be able to get another job —’
  ‘No one wants me —’

We may have further negative beliefs that come from our past such as:

• I must not show anger
• I must keep a stiff upper lip
• I can’t handle rejection
• They don’t appreciate me
• It’s my fault
• I must not seem vulnerable
• I can’t handle uncertainty
• They’ve got no right to get rid of me
• I’m not good enough
• I must always be working.

Using mind power

You can use the power of your mind to help improve your confidence, for example:

• 1Create a mental image for your doubting side:
  e.g. a thin, black creature pointing accusingly.
• 2Create a mental image for your reinforcing side:
  e.g. an all wise male dressed in white with a flowing beard.
• 3What negative messages is your doubting side saying?
  e.g. ‘no one wants your skills’.
• 4What positive messages can your reinforcing side say?
  e.g. ‘my skills are useful and I keep adding to them’.

List your positives

This is the time to be upbeat about yourself and your achievements, for example:

• 6 × qualities I like about myself
• 2 × times I have felt loved
• 2 × times I have been congratulated
• 2 × difficulties I handle well
• 4 × responsibilities I shoulder successfully.

Beginning your new routine

Although it’s nice to have the odd lay in, you need to get yourself into a constructive routine as soon as possible. You could:

• get up at a regular time
• exercise
• network with colleagues and friends
• socialise
• improve your image
• reorganise your finances
• do voluntary/community work
• get out and about
• write your CV
• get in touch with agencies
• redefine personal goals
• return to study
• redefine career goals.

CHECKLIST FOR THE FIRST FEW WEEKS

• 1See redundancy as a positive opportunity for change.
• 2Allow yourself time to grieve and say goodbye.
• 3Express your anger appropriately.
• 4Write out your feelings.
• 5Can your life or health cover continue after you leave?
• 6Put your financial package in a high interest account.
• 7Could you negotiate a lump sum and leave rather than work out your notice?
• 8Organise networking contacts before you leave.
• 9Keep busy.
• 10Look after yourself.
• 11Have some fun.