USING WHAT YOU HAVE

During your working life you have had many experiences, built up many skills and acquired much knowledge. Then you were made redundant — but this event doesn’t take away who you are or what you have done. You are still the same person — a little battered perhaps, but still the same.

Where you are now

This book has been designed to add to your building blocks of self knowledge. We have explored:

The first few weeks

Reacting to the redundancy — saying goodbye — dealing with loss — coping with the first few days

Organising your finances

Getting something for nothing — defining your needs and wants

Coping with change

Stress management — positive thinking — time management — physical fitness — healthy eating

Redefining your value system

Why do you work — work values and motivations — skills assessment

Your career development strategy

Researching the job market — returning to study — organising your jobsearch strategy — making speculative contacts — using the media — networking — creating your own job — using the internet

Overcoming constraints

Sexism — ageism — literacy and numeracy — dependants — location and travel — a criminal record — lack of experience — the benefit loop — the economic climate — health — ethnic origin — job competition — need for higher income — beliefs and values — lack of confidence

Choosing a mode of work

Term-time working — working from home — the portfolio person — temporary work — flexitime — jobshare — contract work — part time work — self employment — shift work — self-rostering — teleworking — consultancy — annual hours — compressed working hours

Selling yourself

Verbal and non verbal communication — image and style — reading the job advertisement — using the telephone — the CV — writing letters — application forms — interviews

Training and education

Study skills — basic education — further education — adult education — access courses — higher education — open learning — government schemes — qualifications — funding.

What now?

The rest of this chapter explores:

• empowerment
• using effective thinking
• giving yourself positive strokes
• improving your self image
• your philosophy towards life
• goal setting
• action planning
• endings and beginnings.

You have now begun to assess more deeply who you are, what you have and what you know so that you are in a more powerful position to move forward into new employment that more accurately represents the real you.

LETTING GO OF BEING A VICTIM

No one is out to get you. The world is not deliberately doing you down. The government hasn’t got your name on their hit list. God isn’t out to make your life a misery. You are a powerful individual going through a time of change because of redundancy. You don’t have to like it, of course, but you now have a major opportunity to grow and develop. There is a school of philosophy which believes:

• I’m not OK, you ‘re not OK means I feel victimised, miserable and hopeless and so do you; there’s no hope for any of us, so why bother. Neither of us wins.
• I’m OK, you’re not OK means I’ll take from you so that I feel better because you feel more awful than me. I win and you lose.
• I’m OK, you’re OAT means I feel empowered and respect myself and others and I know that you feel the same way. We are in control of our lives. We both win.

It is up to you to take advantage of every opportunity that comes your way. If there aren’t enough — create them.

TAKING RESPONSIBILITY

You are the only person who can make a difference in your life. Other people can contribute to your success and sense of well-being, but at the end of the day, it is attitude not aptitude that makes altitude. It is your state of mind and creative approach to employment that will bring a positive response. No one owes you a living and no other person can give you something that you aren’t prepared to give yourself. Maintaining this attitude takes determination and discipline and there is no doubt that there will be times when you feel resentful, frustrated and angry. That’s OK. You can cope with these negative feelings — you have a right to feel and express them appropriately. You’ll feel better if you do express them. However, they won’t last and you will feel hopeful again. All you need is one person to say ‘I have pleasure in being able to offer you the position of. When you take responsibility for your life and what happens to you, you are no longer a victim. Sometimes when you wait for that phone call or letter asking you for an interview or telling you that you’ve got the job, you may feel as if all the power in the world belongs to the employers — but it doesn’t. You have the power. You have the power to feel up or down, positive or negative, fearful or excited. You can feel empowered. You are in control. You cannot control other people or their responses, but you can control your own behaviour, thoughts and feelings. If you don’t like waiting for others, keep proactive in your jobsearch. If you don’t like being rejected, keep reminding yourself of your skills and strengths; if you don’t like not having a job, find other meaningful pursuits while you wait.

Creating your ideal job treasure map

Your treasure map should show you in your ideal scene with your goal fully realised. Place a photograph of yourself in the centre of a large sheet and show yourself doing your ideal job, in your ideal location. Cut out pictures and words from magazines. Show the situation as if it already exists. Be positive and use colour to create impact. Put an affirmation on the treasure map. ‘Here I am working as a graphic designer in a light, airy office with people I like, earning good money and feeling good about myself.

USING EFFECTIVE THINKING SKILLS

Effective thinking means taking responsibility for your own choices, accurate perception of self and others and using visual thinking skills. There are certain conditions which contribute to negative thinking:

Overestimating

This is when we overestimate the odds of a negative outcome to a situation: ‘I’ll never get an interview when they hear I was made redundant’.

Overgeneralising

This is when we falsely assume that one bad experience will become the norm: ‘No one ever responds to my CV.

Filtering

This is focusing on one negative aspect of a situation so that we ignore any positive aspects.

Emotional reasoning

This is a tendency to evaluate something illogically, totally on the basis of feelings: ‘He didn’t like me — I could tell. He kept staring — I feel awful.’

‘should’ statements

These are the trademark of your inner-perfectionist. By imposing the word ‘should’ on yourself, you are lowering your self esteem. Following the inner-perfectionist telling you what you should do, your inner-critic then comes in to tell you how badly you are doing it.

Using constructive inner speech

Inner speech occurs as we become conscious of our thoughts. We can use affirmations to affirm the positive rather than the negative:

Before an interview	—	‘My body is relaxed and I feel confident.’
During the interview	—	‘I am calm and in control. Speak slowly and clearly. I am good enough.’
After the interview	—	‘I am doing very well. I am learning a lot. I am ready for the next time.’
While waiting for a job offer	—	‘I am a worth while person. The right job is coming my way.’

Making choices

A further development of using powerful inner speech is using your power of choice to tune out of the negative and into the positive:

Negative inner speech	Positive inner speech
I am afraid of being unemployed	I am excited about getting a new job
I don’t have any money	I have enough to pay the essentials
I am off course	I am on the path
I can’t get a job	I will get a job
I am too old	My age is bringing new opportunities
I don’t count	I count
I am filled with self doubt	I am confident
I can’t do anything	I am always learning new skills
I feel useless	I do something useful every day

Preventing and managing problems

An effective jobsearch strategy involves being able to solve problems. Knowing the right person to contact, anticipating hurdles, overcoming barriers and researching all take problem solving skills. The Three Key Steps to solving problems include:

• 1.Analyse your problem
• 2.Brainstorm solutions
• 3.Improve on the outcome or discard and analyse and brainstorm a new approach.

GIVING YOURSELF POSITIVE STROKES

When we have been made redundant, our sense of self esteem wobbles and it is then that we need someone to tell us how brilliant we are, how lovable and how much we are needed. Sadly, there isn’t always someone around who can do this, so we have to learn to do it for ourselves. We need to learn to be our own best friend. When others praise us, this is the icing on the cake, but ultimately, we need to be able to do it for ourselves.

Project

On a large sheet of paper, write out all the things you like about yourself. Put it up in a place where you can see it every day and keep adding any new strengths and skills that you discover.

TEN STEPS TO FEELING POSITIVE

• 1Get rid of the word ‘should’ from your vocabulary — use ‘could’.
• 2Short-circuit negative mind-messages as soon as they start by using the word ‘stop’.
• 3Think about what is going well in your life.
• 4Practise going from anxiety to an active and problem solving framework.
• 5Create opportunities for yourself.
• 6Learn to recognise what is redundant about your own attitudes.
• 7Investigate new interests — try things you’ve never done before.
• 8Before you fall asleep at night find at least one thing in each day that was enjoyable.
• 9Stop criticising yourself and learn to like who you are.
• 10Laugh at yourself a little more.

Remember

• It’s up to you to take your life and use it.
• Nobody owes you anything.
• You can decide to make something of what you have and improve upon it, or you can choose to let things get you down.
• As one door closes, another opens — providing you look for it.

IMPROVING YOUR SELF IMAGE

Your self image is the way you see yourself and how you feel about yourself. Affirmations and creative visualisation are excellent ways of creating a more positive self image. Think of specific qualities you appreciate about yourself. In the same way that you might boost up a friend when they are down while still seeing their faults, you can appreciate yourself for all that you are while still being aware that there are ways you need to develop. Begin to tell yourself:

• I am talented, intelligent and creative
• I am willing to be happy and successful
• I express myself freely, fully and easily
• I don’t have to try to please anyone else; I like myself and that’s what counts.

It is often more effective to do this type of affirmation in the second person, using your own name:

‘sheila, you are a brilliant and interesting person. I like you very much.’

The anchor trick

Sit down in a quiet place, close your eyes and relax. Bring to mind a time when you felt successful and confident. Recall the scene in as much detail as possible. Where, when, how? Who else was there? What was said? When you have got the positive, strong feelings in your mind, anchor them by clasping your left shoulder or upper arm with your right hand. When you need to feel confident and positive, in an interview for example, clasping your shoulder or upper arm should re-affirm those good feelings instantly.

DEVELOPING A PHILOSOPHICAL ATTITUDE

Developing a philosophical attitude is like preparing a flower bed for new growth. Our beliefs form the substance of positive and healthy development. Our philosophy toward life sustains us through difficulty. It is helpful to develop a positive but realistic philosophy towards work, employment and material resources.

Project

Consider the following:

• We create our own reality by what we perceive to be true.
• We always have a choice.
• Change the inner and the outer will follow.
• Positive energy attracts positive experiences.

YOUR POSITIVE ACHIEVEMENTS JOURNAL1

You may find it useful to keep a Positive Achievement Journal throughout your jobsearch. This journal will become a real sign that you are achieving tasks and developing your jobsearch skills. In the journal, record all your negative feelings and then try to offset them with positive achievements. Rule a page into two halves. On the left hand side, record:

• the date
• the situation
• the nature of your negative behaviour
• the result of your behaviour.

On the right hand side record:

• the date
• the situation
• the nature of your positive behaviour
• the result of your behaviour.

Aim to reduce the number of left hand entries and increase the number of right hand entries. Try to record one positive achievement each day.

SETTING AND ACHIEVING GOALS

Goal setting is the way we measure achievement. When we achieve in part or whole, we feel good about ourselves:

• be specific when setting goals
• set short, medium and long-term goals
• set different types of goals — financial, educational and creative
• be realistic
• uncover and remove internal barriers in moving towards your goals
• build a support network to help you
• review goals
• evaluate goals
• revise goals.

Use Figures 16 and 17 as a guide towards setting goals and drafting an action plan for yourself.

ENDINGS AND BEGINNINGS

This book is about a constant subject — change. I started my paid working life in a variety of Saturday jobs ranging from shoe sales to buttering bread in a cafe. The school guidance system convinced me I wanted to be a nurse, so I enrolled in cadet school but with the contrariness of teenagehood, I decided I wanted to be a window dresser instead! From there, I moved into administration and office work, moving on to becoming a professional temp working for a variety of employment agencies and developing training skills along the way. In my late twenties, I went self employed as an adult education tutor in personal development and at the age of 44, I am still self employed, although I have reinvented myself a hundred times since — a careers guidance specialist, training prisoners in self employment skills, an astrologer, an NVQ assessor. Now I work as a freelance writer of career development books and as a therapist working with breast cancer patients. But, I have never been out of

work. Why? Because I have my eye on the economic future, both locally and nationally. My husband has been made redundant twice, but he has got back into work again both times and quite quickly too. He’s not one to make changes lightly, but he made his last job move for himself before he was made redundant again — because he could see the writing on the wall. In your working life, there are no beginnings and endings, only wheels of change as you move seamlessly from one working state to another. Be in control of your working life. Create strong developmental skills so that you can take advantage of opportunities. Have an eye to the future and see your working life as a series of stepping stones to personal and professional fulfilment. Good luck!