Welcome, sir ... or madam. Yes, the role of best man is no longer exclusively a male preserve ... and sometimes more than one person does the job. But to have called this book The Complete Best Man, Best Girl, Best Man and Girl and Best Men would have been a bit of a mouthful.

In the pages that follow I talk to and about the Best Man and refer to that person as he or him. This stems from my desire to avoid ugly, cumbersome English (he, she or they ... him, her or them) and to avoid the destruction of another Amazonian rainforest. But really the book is written for anyone asked to do the business.

Almost everything written applies to both genders. The only exceptions are attire, where a best girl should match what the bride is wearing, but not outshine her, and a best girl's possibly different ideas as to what constitutes a brilliant stag do. If in doubt, ask the groom what he has in mind or delegate this one function to a mere male.

The book is in two parts. Part One tells you everything you need to become an impressive, efficient and effective modern best man. In Part Two you'll find out how to prepare and present a unique and memorable speech that will sparkle like vintage champagne.

While the basic responsibilities of a best man have remained largely unchanged over the years, the world has moved on. The key is to respect traditions of the past but also to keep up with the times. Unorthodox interpretations of your role are no longer a breach of social etiquette.

Similarly, while your speech should include a few time-honoured crowd-pleasers which people will expect to hear, there remains plenty of scope to stamp your own personality on it as you drag it screaming into the twenty-first century.

I've been there, done it and got the T-shirt – well several T-shirts actually. Not only that, I've written loads of other books on weddings and speechmaking. Let's make a deal. I'll give you all the advice, tips and strategies you'll need to do a fantastic job. In return, all I ask from you is your time, your mind and your commitment.

It's a serious business being a best man. There's a lot to do, a lot to remember and a lot to say. You owe it to the bride and groom – and to yourself- to give it your best shot. With this handbook at your side you can become the complete best man.