Almost there now, bestie. You know all the broad areas you are going to cover... and you've got plenty of ideas of personal, relevant and original things you could say in each of them. You haven't? Well rewind to Chapter 6 until you have ... I don't want to have to put you in the Naughty Corner. You're back. Great. Now it's time to get ruthless as you start to put it all together.

CHOOSE YOUR MATERIAL

Go through each section of your skeleton outline and decide which ideas have the X Factor and which ones are destined for the delete button. It won't be as difficult as it sounds because by now deep down you will know your strongest material. Trust your instinct. If you are still unsure, ask yourself the four questions that the late and great Bob Monkhouse devised for vetting all his potential material:

Do you think it is funny or meaningful?

You will always deliver a funny line better when you genuinely like it. If you're not totally happy about a gag or story, you can be sure that your subconscious mind is warning you not to use it. Follow this showbiz adage: If in doubt, leave it out.

Can you say it confidently and with comfort?

Is this story right for you? If you are a natural wit (I said wit) and a bit of an extrovert, you may feel fine telling a joke that requires a mastery of accents, perfect timing, expressive gestures and practised articulation for a tongue-twisting punchline. If you are a mere mortal, think twice – and then several more times, before taking any unnecessary risks with stuff like this. Your speech is a one-shot deal. Know your limitations.

Is it inoffensive?

A great deal of specious claptrap is spoken about 'honest vulgarity' as opposed to filth. I have never been convinced there is any difference. Yes, fashions have changed and what is acceptable in a wedding speech today would have been unthinkable just a few years ago. But never overstep that unspoken, invisible line. This is a family occasion. Remember your audience. Have a serious go at the groom but don't swear or be vindictive towards him. If you are, you will come over as bitchy, bitter and bereft of humour and humanity.

Will they understand and appreciate it?

Remember that all your material should be personal, relevant and original. It must be meaningful to your audience given the circumstances, backgrounds, lifestyles and characteristics of the newly-weds. The funniest joke in the world about an MP in a cave will have no place in your speech unless the bride or groom are political potholers.

If a gag or story gets a thumbs-up to all these questions, it will merit a place in your speech.

GET CREATIVE?

The original fail-safe structure of your speech might do the job for you. Alternatively, you may decide to do a little tweaking here and there – perhaps changing the order of components, merging the contents of some of them, or adding something completely new. My only advice is not to tamper unless you have a good reason to do so. To make structural changes to improve and personalise your speech is highly creative; to make them just to be different is foolish.

You may decide to include a few props – such as enlarged embarrassing photos of the groom – or even get some of the audience to act as confederates for one of your jokes. That's fine ... so long as the gag's original. The first time I saw the 'key joke' on You've Been Framed, I thought it was very funny. The best man says something along the lines of: 'I know [groom] had some girlfriends during his bachelor days and I see a few of them here today. I've been asked if any still have a key to his front door that they return it now ...' Cue a long line of females running to throw a key into a large tin. Many of your audience will have seen this clip rerun on TV many times and also played out at other weddings. Please don't copy any visual joke you have seen on the box or found online. You may find it hilarious ... they will find it monotonous.

KEEP IT FLOWING

Have you noticed how entertainers, politicians and TV presenters move easily and unobtrusively from one topic to another? Like them, you can make your speech flow smoothly and gracefully from beginning to end by putting your sections into a logical order and then joining them together with link words and bridging lines.

Link words are words or short phrases – like meanwhile, however, anyway, mind you and of course - that allow you to move seamlessly from line to line. Bridging lines are phrases and sentences that allow you to move on to another section or topic in an apparently natural and conversational manner.

Let's take an example. Here's how you could link a few jokes about the groom's early years before bridging to his enjoyment of the good life today. The link words are underlined and the bridging lines are indicated.

USE WORDS TO BE SAID, NOT READ

Most people can write something to be read, few can write something to be said. Indeed, most people are unaware that there is any difference.

We are used to writing things to be read: by our friends, our relatives, our work colleagues. Such everyday written communication is known as text. What we are not used to doing is speaking our written words out loud. Writing intended to be spoken and heard is known as script.

Every effective speaker must recognise that there are very important differences between text and script, namely:

Therefore, you must prepare a speech for an audience which cannot listen at its own pace; which cannot ask you to repeat parts it did not hear or understand; and which cannot choose the order in which to consider your words. Think like a listener and write like a talker. The style and tone of your script should be relaxed and chatty.

Consider how the same gag might be put over, first using text and then script:

The lesson is clear: speak your words out loud before you commit them to paper.

PREPARE YOUR SCRIPT

The best talkers are those who are most natural. They are easy, fluent, friendly and amusing. No script for them. How could there be? They are talking only to us and basing what they say on our reactions as they go along. For most of us, however, that sort of performance is an aspiration rather than a description. Our tongues are not so honeyed and our words less winged. We need a script.

But what sort of a script? Cards? Notes? Speech written out in full? There is no right way of doing it. Here is a simple method favoured by many speakers:

• 1.Write out the speech in full.
• 2.Memorise the opening and closing lines and familiarise yourself with the remainder of the speech.
• 3.Summarise the speech on one sheet of paper using key words to remind you of your sequence of jokes, anecdotes and so on.

The main advantage of this method is that you will not only be sure to cover everything you want to, but also will come across as a natural and spontaneous speaker who is not merely reciting a prepared speech.