Weddings tend to evoke many different emotions in people – happiness, joy, anxiety, jealousy are just a few. As the bride and her mother are usually at the centre of all the preparations, it is therefore unsurprising that they are likely to feel these emotions more deeply than other members of the wedding party.

Add to this the huge number of decisions that need to be made, and the age gap and differing views between generations and it is easy to see why there might be some differences of opinion between a bride-to-be and her mother.

So what can a bride-to-be do to keep the peace whilst still achieving the big day she has dreamed of?

Wedding finances should be discussed at the start of preparations and set out in writing so it is clear who is contributing to which areas of the wedding and the maximum amount they are prepared to contribute.

If the mother of the bride is contributing substantially to the cost, negotiation skills are important to ensure the bride can influence final decisions. One suggestion is for the bride to agree with her mother that she can choose her preferred option for some of the items such as the dress and the venue and then give her mother the final choice on some of the other items such as the cake and wedding favours.

If the bride has the opposite problem that her mother is totally disinterested in the wedding, keeping her mother informed of activities may make her feel as though she is part of the planning process and help to increase her enthusiasm.

Outfits can be another area the bride needs to navigate carefully to ensure she ends up wearing the style of dress she would like and that her mother looks fantastic without upstaging her. One option is to take another person along to the dress shop so they can offer a different opinion on outfit choices from a more neutral perspective.

Of course, in many cases, the mother of the bride is hugely supportive and may be able to assist with many aspects of wedding organisation such as cake making, dress making, flower arranging, making decorations (as well as contributing financially). I know a bride who discovered that her wedding dress was too small for her only three days before her wedding. Her mother stayed up until the early hours adjusting the seams so that by the time her wedding day arrived, it fit her perfectly.

By Elizabeth Catherine Myers, author of Planning a Wedding and Your Pocket Wedding Planner. Visit www.your-pocket-wedding-planner.co.uk