All parents want their children to have the best start in life. They want them to be healthy, have lot of friends, make the most of their time at school and ultimately lead happy and fulfilled lives. Try as we might though we can’t always protect our children from the challenges of the outside world however there is a lot we can do to help them when they turn to us for guidance. Bullying is one such challenge in life that many children have to contend with and it is without doubt something which can destroy lives.

Before you can help your child, if you suspect that they are being bullied, it is important to recognise the many forms bullying can take such as:

• Threatening behaviour
• Cruel texts or email messages
• Damage to property
• Ignoring someone
• Intimidation
• Name calling
• Racial insults
• Rumour mongering
• Sarcasm
• Teasing
• Theft of possessions

There are many forms of bullying however, and each can be equally distressing for the victim. What may seem irrelevant to us can have a huge impact on a child and the way they feel about themselves. It is therefore vital that bullying is tackled immediately to prevent it from escalating out of control.

Not all children will ask for help when they are being bullied – not even from their parents- for fear of reprisals. It is therefore vital that you are aware of the signs that indicate someone may be bullying your child, so that you can be vigilant and attentive to any changes in your child’s behaviour, such as:

• Attempting to self harm
• Bedwetting
• Being physically sick – this can be either self inflicted or due to worrying
• Complaints of illness or feigning illness to avoid having to go to school. Most common complaints are stomach ache or head ache.
• Deterioration of school work
• Frequently ‘losing’ possessions – this could indicate that the bully has stolen items
• Often appearing hungry – this could be a sign that the bully has stolen their lunch or lunch money
• Regression – thumb sucking, rocking or other comfort behaviour may be a sign of uncertainty in a child particularly if they do not usually resort to this type of behaviour
• Regularly asking for or stealing money – this could be a request of the bully
• Ripped clothing – a sign that the child may have been roughly handled or been in a fight
• Showing aggressive behaviour
• Suffering from nightmares or troubled sleep patterns
• Having unexplained injuries
• Showing mood swings or being bad tempered
• Avoiding leaving the house and preferring to remain indoors
• Becoming quiet and withdrawn
• Showing a lack of interest in previously good friends.

By Allison Lee, author of How To Grow Great Kids and The Working Mum’s Guide to Childcare, see www.working-mums-guide-to-childcare.co.uk