Many people, sooner or later, are likely to have some responsibility for the care of elderly parents. Evidence shows that remaining in their own home is the undoubted preference for older people. Perhaps therefore the most important thing is to help them retain their independence for as long as possible.

Working out ways of adapting the home, knowing what facilities are available and what precautions should be taken against a mishap occurring are first considerations. This may be no more than a few general improvements to begin with, though later on converting a downstairs room into a bedroom and en-suite shower room might be sensible.

Being aware of where to get help in an emergency can make all the difference, both to you and to parents who may fear becoming a burden. Local authorities have a legal duty to help people with disabilities and may even assist with cost.

Provisions for the elderly have improved enormously but there is sometimes confusion as to where to access the help you need. Becoming familiar with what services are available and which agency provides it is half the battle. The best place to start is to consult your family GP, he will be able to advise on what is needed and suggest ways of obtaining help, such as contacting the local Social Services Department.

Among the things to research are alarms to enable people to get help, should they need it while living in their own home; key voluntary organisations who can assist with caring for the elderly; holidays, practical help for carers, benefits and entitlements for the elderly or disabled. The benefits can vary greatly and it is essential to find out who qualifies and what forms need completing. It can take a while to sort out and patience will be required.

The choice of whether to move in with grown-up children, which could involve a change of geographical area, or continue to live independently but remain amongst familiar territory and old friends, is a decision dependent on individual circumstances. Whatever needs to be done at whatever time, allow your parent(s) the opportunity to choose what to do. Research has shown that elderly people who are allowed to make the decision for themselves, and not feel coerced, or overruled, are likely to remain happier and healthier for longer.

By Frances Kay