RIGHTS OF STEPDADS

Unfortunately you have no automatic right of access to any child unless you have parental rights. That is the short and unsavoury truth about second partners. Even though you may well go through the same set of emotions that a birth dad goes through when you separate from your step family, there is little that can be done legally.

In December 2005 there was a change in the law. The new Adoption and Children’s Act 2002 came into force. Prior to the Act step parents had no legal recognition unless they had been to court and obtained parental responsibility, which is normally associated with a residency order. However, under the new legislation, this position was altered slightly and it was made easier for a step parent to obtain parental responsibility.

Now a step parent can with the consent of the parent(s) with parental responsibility be granted PR. If consent is not forthcoming then you can still apply to the court. But by allowing parent(s) with parental responsibility to make a simple deed, the law has increased the ability of a step parent to obtain parental responsibility.

If you have assumed the role of dad in a child’s life, don’t expect to be able to continue to have contact with that child if your relationship with mum breaks down. It may be that your ex is happy for you to continue to see the children. If so – great, but you must be aware that it may not last for ever. Your ex’s life will be subject to changes as will yours. You may find other people enter your life, as they will probably enter the child’s and mum’s, and this may change perspectives and relationships.

It may be that mum wants you to be out of the children’s life as quickly as she wants you out of hers. In which case there is little you can do about it. As a stepdad you have no automatic rights over your stepchildren – you need to obtain parental responsibility.

• Don’t fight the impossible fight. If your ex does not want you to have parental responsibility or access to your stepchildren then you can’t have it. You need to know when to concede a fight.
• Don’t go hanging around the school or other places. You may well get a prohibited steps order placed against you, which will mean you have to spend time and money in a family court.
• Do try and persuade your ex that it is in the child’s best interests to keep you in their life, and see what relationship can be built from there.