SO YOU STILL WANT TO BE A GREAT DAD?

During the first phase of separation and divorce, many elements of a father’s life are in a process of change – where he lives, what he does with his time, his financial position, and so on. This period of time normally ranges from two to 12 months, depending on the circumstances of the separation. But you will reach a stage where the emotional, physical and financial disturbance is over and it is time to think about where to go from here and what the balance in your life is going to be.

Working out a balance

Being divorced does not mean that your desire to be the greatest possible dad to your children changes; nor does it alter the fact that you are that one special person in their lives. Even though circumstances have changed, it does not mean that you have to change the expectations of the role that you will play in their lives, but you will have to alter how you achieve your goal.

One of the most important considerations in reaching this goal is to work out what your long-term parenting plan is going to be. Some of this will be determined already, but much of it is in your hands. Although you can still achieve a lot if you take a casual approach to how your relationship with your children will develop, it is better to put a little planning into it: they say that ‘proper planning leads to perfect results’.