SPECIAL DAYS

Special days are ones like birthdays, Christmas, Easter and other religious festivals. They also include school sports days, plays and so on. You have a right to have access to your children on these days. Just as you want to see your kids, they also want to share the experience with you. However, you might need to be a bit pragmatic during the first few months. If you and your ex are getting along, then amicable arrangements can be made. If not, you might just have to miss out this year. But don’t despair, when you come around to making permanent arrangements for access to your children, you can include them in your consideration.

• If your ex-partner is not co-operating, and refuses you access on special days, a future court access order may well be able to include them.
• If you are refused access by your ex-partner, then send a letter asking for access. It does not have to be a solicitor’s letter, just a normal one. It will record the event so that later, in court, you can prove that access was denied you.
• Recognise that denying you access on special days is a way that your ex-partner can hurt you. If your separation is hostile, then she will look to do just that.
• Remember that you are one of a thousand divorced dads who are in the same boat. Whilst it is personal for you, you are not being singled out.
• If you know in advance that you will be denied access on a special day, plan to enjoy the day yourself. Do something that is special for you.