TIME

Anyone who has grieved, maybe after the loss of a relative or friend, will know that time helps. Time helps to overcome raw emotions. Time helps people to move on with their lives. Time helps people come to terms with feelings of loss, and of losing a loved one. In separation even the most vociferous of couples can, with time, learn to live around each other for the benefit of the children.

Sure – there are some divorced dads who never recover from a separation, and the actual events of the separation leave such an emotional scar that it is impossible for them to be on friendly terms with the ex-partner. Some divorced dads find that this also goes on to affect their attitude towards new partners, and they are never able to trust another woman again.

But, irrespective of what happens during the process of the separation (or whatever the reason for the separation in the first place), you must over a period of time be able to have some form of relationship with your ex-partner – even if (as in most cases) it is a neutral or ambivalent one. The reason is clear – in order to have an unencumbered relationship with your children you need to be able to work along side your ex.

Many parents who separate manage to come to an informal arrangement for the kids. This is a ‘managed position’, where they work with each other for the benefit of the children. For others the situation takes longer to get to. But time can help all parents get to that position.