The script is written and the presentation rehearsed. The hard work is behind you. What you must do now is relax and get yourself into the right state of mind. This means thinking positively, visualising success and dealing with any possible attack of nerves.

THINKING POSITIVELY

Tell yourself that you are going to make a great speech. And believe it. The largely untapped power of positive thinking really is immense. Unfortunately, many speakers think they are going to fail, and this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. As Henry Ford put it: ‘Whether you think you will succeed or whether you think you will fail, you will probably be right.’

Some people may find this anonymous poem inspirational. Needless to say, it applies equally to women:

VISUALISING SUCCESS

Visualisation is the planting of mental images into the subconscious mind. These images must be vivid and real – you must be able to see, to hear, to smell, to touch, to taste and to truly live them. It is a way to free yourself from previously accepted boundaries and barriers. We are all victims of programming. As a child, you may have been told, ‘your spelling is atrocious’. Your subconscious mind would have accepted this (even if it were not true) and it would have made sure that from that moment you really were a poor speller. Through visualisation you can re-programme your subconscious mind to accept that you can spell well. In exactly the same way, you can pre-programme your subconscious mind to accept you are not nervous and you are going to make an excellent speech.

If you can vividly imagine an event happening, it will greatly strengthen the likelihood of it actually happening. This is not a crankish idea. Controlled medical experiments have proved it to be true. When a patient visualises cancer cells being engulfed by anti-bodies in the bloodstream, it is far more likely to happen than if that patient just lies back and lets nature take its course.

You are now going to watch a film clip with a difference – because the screenwriter, the director and the star will be you. Close your eyes and visualise yourself rising to speak. You are looking good. Feel the warmth of the audience. You are surrounded by family and friends. You pause for a moment and then begin. They love your opening hook. But it gets better; your stories and little jokes wow them. Laughter one minute, tears the next. They are eating out of your hand. Then comes that emotion-packed big finish. Nobody could have topped that. Listen to their cheers and applause. Now that’s what I call a wedding speech!

The best times to present your subconscious mind with such a positive visualisation is when you are mentally calm and physically relaxed, when you are in the hypnogogic state that precedes sleep, or when you are in a state of light sleep.

MAKING FEAR YOUR FRIEND

But even the best-prepared and most psyched-up speaker can suffer from a sudden attack of the collywobbles. It is perfectly natural and normal to feel a little nervous when delivering a speech. In fact, it helps if you do. The adrenalin will flow and you will be charged up and ready to give a really great performance.

However, if you feel too nervous the quality of your speech will suffer. So here are a few tricks of the trade to help you cope with your nerves (or at least conceal them), both before and during your speech.

As you sit there remind yourself that your audience will be on your side. This is a happy day. They are not a jury. They are willing you to do well. And, quite frankly, they won’t give a damn if you do fluff a line or two.

Even if you are still feeling nervous, remember that you will be the only person in the room who knows it – 90 per cent of our nervousness is internal; only 10 per cent displays itself to the outside world. Unless you tell them you are nervous they won’t know. So never, never tell them.

Whatever you do, don’t drink too much. Booze is like success; it is great until it goes to your head. Bob Monkhouse’s maxim is: never accept a drink before you speak; never refuse one after. Don’t drink and drivel.

If you feel the pressure beginning to get to you, try one or two of these emergency relaxation techniques. They can be used anywhere and any time without anyone, except you, knowing it.

USING EMERGENCY RELAXATION TECHNIQUES

Breathing to reduce tension

• 1. Sit comfortably with your arms at your sides and breathe in deeply through your nose.
• 2. Hunch up your shoulders as high as you can, clench your fists, push your toes hard into the floor, tense your body even harder than it is now – and then still harder.
• 3. Hold your breath for a few seconds.
• 4. As you exhale slowly through your nose, loosen your shoulders and let them drop, unclench your fists and let your heels return to the floor. Imagine that your shoulders are dropping down as far as your waist and that your feet are so light that they are sinking into the ground.

Sitting at a table

• 1. Pull in your stomach muscles tightly. Relax.
• 2. Clench your fists tightly. Relax.
• 3. Extend your fingers. Relax.
• 4. Grasp the seat of your chair. Relax.
• 5. Press your elbows tightly into the side of your body. Relax.
• 6. Push your feet into the floor. Relax.

Spot relaxation

• 1. Imagine that your shoulders are very heavy.
• 2. Hunch them up.
• 3. Drop them down very slowly.
• 4. Gently tip your head forward and feel the muscles pulling up through the middle of your shoulder blades.
• 5. Move your head gently backwards and feel the tension in the muscles down the front of your neck.
• 6. Bring your head back to an upright position and breathe very deeply for a few moments.

Stopping negative thoughts

• 1. Tell yourself: Stop!
• 2. Breathe in and hold your breath.
• 3. Exhale slowly, relaxing your shoulders and hands.
• 4. Pause. Breathe in slowly, relaxing your forehead and jaw.
• 5. Remain quiet and still for a few moments.

Head in the clouds

• 1. Stare at the ceiling and visualise floating clouds.
• 2. Imagine you are drifting towards them.
• 3. Release your tension and watch it float away with the clouds.
• 4. Gradually return from the clouds, feeling calm, cool and collected in your thoughts.

Draining tension away

Imagine you are transparent and filled with your favourite colour liquid. The temperature is perfect. Then drain the liquid from your body through your fingers and toes. Feel the tension draining away with the fluid.

The decanter

Sit comfortably and imagine that your body is a decanter. The bottom of the bottle is your pelvis and hips and the top is your head. As you breathe in, picture the air as pure energy gradually filling up the decanter. Hold the energy for a few seconds and then see it slowly pouring out as you exhale.

The hammock

Imagine you have been walking along a beach for hours. You are very tired. Suddenly you spot a hammock at the top of a steep sand dune. You begin to climb the dune, but you are now becoming exhausted. Only ten more steps to go, now nine ... you can hardly stand up ... now eight, seven, six ... feel the agony of each step upwards ... four, three ... not far now ... two, one, you make it! Collapse into the hammock and relax completely.

The stairway

As you sit in your chair, pick a spot on the wall, slightly above your eye level, and stare at it. Do not allow your attention to waver. Take three long breaths, with normal breathing for about ten seconds between each of them. Each time you exhale think the word relax, and let every muscle and nerve in your body go loose and limp. After you have said relax for the third time, close your eyes. Imagine you are at the top of a stairway. At the bottom of the stairs is complete relaxation. Visualise yourself descending. With each step you will become more and more relaxed. 20, deeper in relaxation; 19 deeper; 18 deeper; and so on down to 1. At that point you will be completely relaxed.

Meditation of the bubble

Picture yourself sitting quietly and comfortably at the bottom of a clear lake. Every time you have a negative thought, imagine it inside a bubble which gently rises out of your vision towards the surface. Then calmly wait for your next thought. If it is negative, watch it slowly rise towards the surface in another bubble. If you prefer, visualise yourself sitting next to a campfire with all your negative words and images rising in puffs of smoke, or sitting on the bank of a river with all your tension, fears and anxieties inside logs which are gently floating away from you.

Your favourite place

Visualise your favourite place – real or imagined: past, present or future. This is your very own secret place; and because it is in your mind, no one else need ever know about it. Perhaps it is in a beautiful valley by a gently flowing stream; or perhaps it is in a spaceship travelling to Mars. It is entirely up to you. Use all your senses – see the blue sky, hear the gurgling stream, smell the scented flowers, taste the cool water, touch the warm grass. Really be there. This idea may sound silly, but it isn’t, for one simple reason – it works. Remain at your favourite place until you feel perfectly relaxed and ready to return to face the real world.

COPING DURING YOUR SPEECH

However nervous most people feel before making a speech, their nerves will almost certainly evaporate once they are introduced and they begin to speak. Think about it this way: most footballers feel nervous, especially before a big game. But once they hear the shrill of the first whistle, their nerves seem to disappear. The reason? At that moment all their pent up tension is released and they can finally get on with the job in hand.

But if you do still feel nervous, here are a few tips to help you cope:

• As you begin your speech, smile naturally, find a few friendly faces and maintain plenty of eye contact with them. As your confidence grows, look more and more at other people around the rest of the room.
• Never admit that you are the slightest bit nervous.
• If you begin to shake, concentrate on your knees. Try to shift the shaking down to your kneecaps. You will find that most of it will evaporate en route. Whatever does arrive there will be hidden behind the table.
• Keep your notes on the table so they can’t rattle or end up all over the floor.
• Don’t draw attention to your hands.
• Don’t hold a hand-mike; leave it on its stand.
• Be aware of any possibly annoying personal habit you may have –such as twitching – and make a positive effort to control it.
• If your mouth becomes dry and your throat tightens up, the obvious thing to do is to take a sip of water. But if this isn’t possible, imagine you are sucking an orange.

But the best way to keep your nerves in check is to know that you have prepared a really great little speech. And make sure it is a little speech. As the mother whale said to her young: ‘Remember, my dears, you can be harpooned only when you’re spouting.’ So don’t go spouting on and on. Stand up to be seen, speak up to be heard, and then shut up to be appreciated. Good luck!