I often hear people say ‘I had no choice,’ or ‘what choice do I have?’, but it’s a fact of life that we have choices – always. Sometimes we don’t think we have, because we’re not aware of them, in which case we must dig a little deeper. Sometimes the best option is the most obvious, but occasionally something we hadn’t previously thought of turns out to be best.

Step five: summing up

There’s an unwritten law in self-coaching – you always have more options than you think you do. Some of these may turn out to be non-starters, others exactly the solution you were looking for.

Start by brainstorming. Ask yourself a constructive question. Write down everything that comes to you without analyzing or criticising. (The part of the mind that analyses and criticises is also the most heavily programmed and conditioned, which means it is the least likely to appreciate a creative, new idea.) Then, and only then, eliminate the non-runners and refine your list to say, the three or four most likely to succeed.