268 Include frequent progress reviews. Advancement towards your goals should be monitored continually: short-term goals on a daily basis, medium-term weekly and long-term monthly or quarterly. Plot your review dates in your diary, on your wall chart or in your Self-Coaching Journal.

Continually ask yourself:

• What’s going really well for me right now?
• What could I build on?
• What could I usefully do more of?
• What could I make even better?

269 Although it’s important to think positively, you mustn’t kid yourself that you’re making progress when you’re not. If you’re making headway – fine. Keep going. Carry out some fine-tuning if necessary.

But if you’re not, find out where you’re going wrong and make adjustments. And remember, it’s OK to make mistakes: hardly anyone gets it right first time. Make new mistakes, better mistakes – just don’t keep making the same mistakes. That’s how you grow.

If it’s not working at all, try something different. The more things you try, the more likely you are to hit upon the right thing at the right time. Sooner or later you will find the right way.

270 Expect problems, setbacks and difficulties. There has never been, nor will there ever be, a life free from problems. Problems are an unavoidable part of human experience.

It is not your problems but how you deal with them that determines the direction of your life. You won’t feel good about yourself unless you have a healthy attitude towards problems. Usually it’s your response to a problem as much as the problem itself that determines the outcome. Accepting this puts you in the right frame of mind to find solutions.

Reflect on this: have you ever faced a major problem that seemed terrible at the time, that you now look back on and think, ‘I learned a lot from that’? You handled it. Perhaps you surprised yourself, and now thanks to this, you feel more confident. Make a note in your Self-Coaching Journal of how you would react if that kind of situation happened again.

271 It is not our problems which distress us, but our lack of faith in our ability to solve them. Problems may initially appear as insurmountable obstacles, but in the long term they are stepping stones, lessons waiting to be learned. Often what appears to be a dead end turns out to be merely a bend in the road. You can solve problems. You’ve already solved thousands.

Frequently, opportunities come our way disguised as problems. All it takes is a subtle change in thinking to make the most of them.

Do you see problems as potential opportunities? If not, what can you do to take a more constructive view?

272 Eight ways to approach a problem:

• 1Write it down. Look at it as if it were a puzzle in a magazine. Problems often appear less threatening once put down on paper.
• 2Focus your mind on finding a solution. Spend no more than 20 per cent of your time defining the problem, and 80 per cent on thinking about the solution.
• 3Let go of self-pitying self-talk and negative questions. Ask: ‘What can I do to solve this problem?’ ‘How can I turn it to my advantage?’ ‘What more do I need to know?’ and so on. These great questions get your subconscious working for rather than against you.
• 4Don’t exaggerate the problem. Problems are blown up by anxious thoughts, anger, guilt and looking for someone or something to blame.
• 5Don’t underestimate the problem either, nor your capacity to deal with it. Many problems are handled badly because they aren’t taken seriously enough. Don’t delude yourself. See reality as it is.
• 6Take action now. You solve problems by doing something about them now, not in the future.
• 7Don’t be too proud to ask for help. You’ll find people love to lend a hand. It makes them feel useful and boosts their self-esteem.
• 8If all else fails, ask your intuitive mind for guidance (see pages 94–95).

273 Stay flexible – flexibility does not mean feebleness. The tree that is strong and pliant enough to sway with the wind best weathers the storm. So hang in there and be prepared to change your approach if necessary.

Sometimes things happen you just can’t help. A new boss arrives, reorganises the department and you’re made redundant. The company is taken over by a competitor, slims down and closes your premises. You’re given the choice of relocating to a part of the country where you don’t want to go, or lose your job. Your wife has a nervous breakdown, gives up her job and announces she has been having an affair. Your daughter announces that she is hooked on heroin. What can you do?

First, don’t blame yourself if this happens. Second, reaffirm that you always have choices, even if some are not always immediately apparent.

274 Learn from your failures. Composer Igor Stravinsky echoed millions of wise individuals when he said, ‘I have learned throughout my life chiefly through my mistakes and pursuits of false assumptions, not by my exposure to founts of wisdom and knowledge.’

Learn from all your so-called failures. From the moment we’re born life presents us with a series of learning curves, each building on the other. A baby has to fall many times before walking, and, as adults, sometimes we feel as if we’re about to topple over before recovering our balance and getting back on our feet again. Failing at something doesn’t make us a failure as a person. The only real failure is giving up or not trying at all.

Successful people see setbacks as valuable lessons, teaching them about what they need to alter within themselves so they can achieve what they want. This explains why so many of them ultimately bounce back completely transformed.

Every setback contains within it the seeds of success, providing you can spot them. Deal with problems as they arise and turn difficulties to your advantage. Hardly anyone gets everything right first time.

275 If you’re sure you’ve found the right goals, have applied all four parts of the ITIA formula, tried your hardest and your efforts are still not bearing fruit, ask yourself candidly:

• What am I unwilling to do?
• What is it that I am not facing up to? Not changing? Not giving up?
• What am I unwilling to do to achieve my goal?

Lack of success is often the result of being unwilling to do everything that is required. One final step has yet to be taken. For example, many complementary therapists struggle to establish their practices despite being well qualified and competent at their chosen therapy. In nearly every case, their failure is due to their unwillingness to get involved in the business side of things, especially marketing and promoting themselves.

If you’re aware of something you’re unwilling to do that is holding you back, there’s only one sensible solution. Make a plan, apply the ITIA formula and Eight Steps and start right now.