As Dr Connie Palladino said, 'Self awareness is the first step to conscious change. The second is making a decision to change and the third is taking action.' So let's bear that in mind as we proceed.

 

Self esteem is the way in which we think and feel about ourselves and it affects the way we act, what we expect out of life, our choices of partners, work and everything else. If our self esteem is low, then we think that others are better than us, that we don't deserve much, that life won't bring us joy – and this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy as we adopt a pessimistic, victim-like stance, which of course tends to push people away.

 

We can become more self aware by realistically assessing ourselves – first our good qualities and gifts (yes you do have them – lots of them). Imagine that someone gave you something beautiful as a present – hopefully you'd be able to say that it's lovely, describe it, show it to other people partly to show how much you appreciate it. Well your own inner gifts are like that. They were given to you not to hide but to share with the world, so seeing them realistically is an act of appreciation. So first, I'd like you to imagine yourself as your best friend. Stand aside a little, and make a list of the gifts and good qualities you see s/he has. Put your pessimism aside and make a list of at least 10 things if you can. Now say them out loud and really start to admire them as you would if they belonged to your friend.

 

Like all of us, there'll be things you'd like to improve. You may think of them as weaknesses, but actually they're just areas that need some attention – so now we make a list of them too. You can change most of them if you're willing to pay attention to them. Some things we can't change – like the fact that I inherited very heavy legs from my paternal grandmother. Those things we have to accept and still look for the positives in them – e.g. my legs give me a good foundation, they're strong and help me dance well – and I can dress so that they're the best they can be.

 

Now our action is to increase our good aspects and improve those we don't like so much by means of positive affirmations - positive statements in the present tense about things we're now creating as reality. So, let's say you have a nice smile – your affirmation could be 'My lovely smile is something I can freely give to everyone and positively change their day'. Or, if you like the fact that you care for people, it could become 'I lovingly care for others while also taking care of myself.'

 

Where there are things you'd like to change, for example that you think you're a failure in your career, you could make the affirmation 'I am more successful in my career each day.' It's important that you use your own words. Don't worry that at first it may feel as though you're telling yourself lies. You're actually creating new neural pathways in your brain by replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. 

 

Have a book in which to write your affirmations out day by day, (I may write each of then ten ot twenty times) and write them on cards and place them where you can see them regularly. It's good to date them in your book as you go, then in months ahead you can look back and see when you started to work on a particular issue and see how far you've come. 

 

Spending just a few minutes each day will reap great benefits. Hopefully, in a while, you'll be able to stand in front of your mirror and look at that person looking back at you and use the sentence above as an affirmation you really believe: 'I am an amazing, powerful spiritual being who had the courage to come here and live the human life'. 

Have a great day!