The ultimate in speed and simplicity; to qualify as a quick fix a recipe should take no longer than 20 minutes from fridge to table...

Tips

Make a stop-gap version of tomato ketchup with 2–3 tablespoons of tomato puree, 2 teaspoons vinegar, 1 teaspoon of brown sugar and 1/4 pint (150ml) of boiling water. (Should be enough for four people.)

To make cold, hard butter straight from the fridge ‘spreadable’, pop it in the microwave on ‘defrost’ for about 40 seconds.

For a crunchy, low calorie snack, wash half a bag of curly kale in cold water, sprinkle with salt & vinegar (or any other seasoning you like) and pop into a hot oven on a baking tray for approx 10 minutes.

For chips that taste fried without the hassle of frying (and less calories), drizzle oven chips with a little oil and give them a good shake before you put them in the oven, then again halfway through the cooking time. (Or spice them up by mixing a tablespoon of curry paste or pesto with some hot oil on a large ovenproof tray first.)

Look out for tips and recipe ideas on packaging; you’ll find them on everything from lentils, ready-made soups and sauces to packets of biscuits, tinned fruit and jelly.

Freeze wine that’s past its best (assuming you ever have any) in an ice cube tray or freezer bag to be popped straight into soups and casseroles when you need them.

QUORN STIR FRY

Obviously a wok is the best thing for a stir fry, but if you don’t have one, a very large saucepan or deep-sided frying pan will do. The most important thing with stir fries is to get the meat and vegetables more or less the same size, so everything is ready at the same time, staying crisp and firm, as opposed to ending up a soggy mess.

As for the noodles; use fresh ones if you like, but because they seem fatty and sticky and remind me of tape worms, I prefer the dried ones that come in lumps and look a bit like shredded wheat. (They also keep for at least a year in the cupboard.)

If you’ve got time, egg fried rice is perfect with this.

SERVES 4:

1 pack Quorn pieces
1 pack stir fry vegetables and bean sprouts
Fine dried noodles (say 4 lumps)
Lime juice
Soy sauce
2 tsp ginger
1/2 tsp mixed spice
Sunflower or sesame oil

METHOD

• 1.Warm the oil in a wok or large deep-sided pan, add the Quorn and turn the heat up.
• 2.Now add the vegetables and shake vigorously... or just keep turning with a wooden spoon. Add the soy sauce, plenty of lime juice and a couple of teaspoons of ginger.
• 3.Meanwhile, break up the dried noodles into a bowl of boiling water and leave them to soften and separate; this doesn’t take longer than a couple of minutes, so don’t overdo.
• 4.Strain the noodles and add to the pan, stirring occasionally for a couple of minutes, then serve.

PACIFIC PIE

Everyone seems to have their own version of Pacific Pie, so feel free to adapt the basic recipe – a couple of tins of tuna, some kind of sauce and plenty of crisps – to suit yourself. However you make it, it shouldn’t take longer than five minutes at a snail’s pace.

SERVES APPROXIMATELY 4:

2 large tins of tuna
1 small tin of sweetcorn
1 standard tin of chopped tomatoes
Broccoli
Natural yoghurt
Lemon juice
Grated cheese (Red Leicester is perfect, but cheddar or mozzarella will do)
Ready salted crisps (2 bags)
Black or white pepper

METHOD

• 1.Wash and break up the broccoli or spinach into small pieces and put in a covered dish in the microwave with a drop of water. If you haven’t got a microwave, put the broccoli in a small saucepan with enough boiling water to cover it and simmer for a couple of minutes. (If you’re using spinach, it can go straight in with the rest of the ingredients.)
• 2.Drain the tins of tuna and sweetcorn and put them in an ovenproof dish.
• 3.Add the broccoli or spinach, a handful of grated cheese, chopped tomatoes and a couple of spoonfuls of yoghurt, plus whatever seasoning you want to use and mix it all up.
• 4.Crush the packets of crisps and sprinkle on the top of the pie with more grated cheese and bake in a hot oven for 10–15 minutes.

ALSO TRY...

• 1.Instead of tinned tomatoes and yoghurt, use any, or a combination of any of the following, to make the sauce: a tin of condensed soup, crème fraiche, mayonnaise, tomato puree.
• 2.Include tinned broad beans and peas, or frozen mixed vegetables and peppers.
• 3.Instead of tuna, use a tin of salmon, or one tin each of salmon and tuna.

NOODLES

You can’t go wrong with noodles, they’re dirt cheap and keep for ages; kids seem to love them and it’s easy to mix them up with healthier ingredients.

SERVES 4–6:

8 oz (250 g) packet of dried egg noodles
6 rashers of back bacon
Mushrooms (4–6 large approx)
Spinach (say 1/4 bag)
Sesame seeds
Butter
1/2 pint (125 ml) vegetable or pork stock
1/4 tsp nutmeg
White pepper
Parsley or chives

METHOD

• 1.Melt the butter in a large saucepan, snip the bacon into small pieces and fry with the sliced mushrooms and sesame seeds until everything is golden brown and the bacon is crisp.
• 2.Wash and tear the spinach up and add to the pan with the stock, (optional Worcester sauce), nutmeg and pepper, stirring well.
• 3.Break the dried noodles up and add them to the pan, stirring again.
• 4.Simmer for about 5 minutes, until the noodles are just soft, serve sprinkled with parsley or chives and a small lump of butter.

MORE NOODLES

This is a good way of using up spare sausages and leftover (uncooked) mince.

SERVES 4 MEDIUM-SIZED CHILDREN

2 sausages + about 4 oz (100 g) leftover mince – or a bit of both.
3 tbsp flour, seasoned with salt and pepper
1 14 oz (400 g) tin of chopped tomatoes
Onion
Spinach (say 1/4 of a bag)
1/2 courgette, cut into thin quarters
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
Olive oil
2–3 squares of dried noodles
Basil
Sage

METHOD

• 1.Roll the meat into tiny balls, about the size of a 1p coin – if you’re using leftover sausages, squeeze the meat out of the sausage skins first – using the seasoned flour to coat the meatballs. (Mix the mince and sausage meat together if you’re using both.)
• 2.Fry the meatballs and courgette pieces in a couple of tablespoons of olive oil in a large saucepan or wok for a few minutes and add the chopped tomatoes. Bring to the boil and stir in the cayenne pepper with whatever other spices or herbs you want to use.
• 3.Tear the spinach leaves up and add to the sauce, followed by the noodles.
• 4.Simmer gently for a couple of minutes until the noodles are just soft. Adjust the seasoning and serve.

BACON CAKES

SERVES 4:

6 rashers of streaky bacon
2 medium-sized potatoes
1 onion, very finely chopped
2 eggs
2 tbsps self-raising flour
Salt & pepper
Oil

METHOD

• 1.Snip the bacon into tiny pieces, finely chop the onion, peel, wash, rinse and grate the potatoes and put everything in a mixing bowl.
• 2.Stir the flour and seasoning into the mixture, followed by the eggs, and beat it all together.
• 3.Warm the oil in a large frying pan and put spoonfuls of the mixture into the hot oil, flatten them slightly and cook for a few minutes, turning once, until the bacon cakes are crisp and brown.
• 4.Keep warm in the oven or under the grill (on low) and serve with baked beans.

DEVILLED KIDNEYS

Perfect with couscous when you haven’t got time to cook rice; add 1/2 teaspoon of cayenne pepper or a bit more Tabasco for extra heat.

SERVES 4:

1 lb (450 – 500 g) lambs’ kidneys
4 oz (100 g) streaky bacon
1 medium-sized onion
1 standard tin of chopped tomatoes
1 tsp Tabasco sauce
4 tbsp sherry
Worcester sauce
Parsley
Oregano
Butter
Oil

METHOD

• 1.Warm some oil and butter in a large pan; add the onion and bacon, cut up small, and fry for a few minutes until golden.
• 2.Rinse the kidneys in cold water, then cut into rough quarters and add them to the pan, browning quickly on all sides.
• 3.Stir in the chopped tomatoes with the rest of the ingredients, bring to the boil, then turn the heat down and simmer for about 10 minutes until the kidneys are cooked through and the sauce has reduced and thickened slightly.
• 4.Sprinkle with plenty of parsley and serve with the couscous.

ONE-STEP PASTA

Use the smallest dried pasta shapes for extra speed; the ones made especially for kids are ideal, although they tend to be more expensive. Fresh pasta requires even less cooking time – about 3 minutes – in which case, put the frankfurters in first.

SERVES 4–6:

Pasta shapes, one handful per person, roughly
Packet of 10 skinny frankfurters
Handful of frozen sweetcorn
Handful of sugar snap peas
Cherry tomatoes
Grated cheese

METHOD

• 1.Put the pasta into slightly salted boiling water.
• 2.After about 5 minutes – or a few minutes from the end of the pasta’s cooking time (you do the maths), add the sliced frankfurters and sweetcorn.
• 3.Put the sugar snap peas in for the last 2 minutes.
• 4.Strain the whole lot together when the pasta is cooked; stir in a very little olive oil or butter and serve with cherry tomatoes – or tomato ketchup if that’s all you’ve got – and grated cheese.

INSTANT CORNED BEEF HASH

Traditionally made with leftover boiled potatoes, a very unorthodox version of corned beef hash can be made with potato purls, otherwise known as instant mash. (You may not have stooped this low before, but once you’ve got more than one child to transport from A to B in record time every night – or you’re just too tired to care – you will, I assure you.)

If you’re making this for more than four people, especially older kids and adults, you’ll need to double up the quantities below.

SERVES 4:

Instant mashed potato made with milk and water according to the instructions on the packet
1 tin of corned beef
1 large onion
Oil

METHOD

• 1.Warm enough oil to just cover the bottom of a large frying pan, peel and thinly slice the onion; cut the corned beef into chunks.
• 2.Fry the corned beef and onion in the hot oil for a few minutes until brown, while you make the instant mashed potato according to the instructions on the packet.
• 3.Add the potato to the pan, turning it over every few seconds until it’s as crisp and brown as you want it to be.
• 4.Serve with baked beans.

PRAWN & EGG PIE

For a deluxe version of Prawn & Egg Pie, make short crust pastry in the usual way with about 1/2 lb (225 g) of plain flour, then grease and line a deep-sided pie dish (or a 7”/8” sandwich tin) and layer the ingredients, starting and finishing with grated cheese and adding beaten egg twice; once about halfway up the pie and again just before the final layer of cheese.

The quick fix Prawn & Egg Pie is equally good hot or cold and should serve four adults, but it’s worth noting that you can make two pies as easily as one; all you need to do is buy an extra flan case and double up the ingredients below.

Add lemon juice, salt, black pepper, chives or basil, as you like.

TO MAKE ONE PIE:

1 readymade savoury pastry flan case (standard size 7”)
1 small packet of frozen prawns
1 tomato
1 egg
Milk
A handful of spinach
Grated cheese

METHOD

• 1.Wash and cut the tomato into half slices; tear or shred the spinach and rinse the prawns.
• 2.Beat the egg, adding a dash of milk, then mix with the rest of the ingredients, saving some of the cheese for the top of the pie.
• 3.Pour the filling into the flan case, spreading it out as evenly as possible, and sprinkle the remainder of the cheese.
• 4.Bake in the oven, Gas Mark 5 (190°C) for about 15 minutes, until the top is a light golden brown.

FISH FINGER PIE

Fish fingers (2 –4 per person, depending on size of person)
Spinach
Tomatoes
Grated cheese

METHOD

• 1.Place fish fingers side by side in batches of 2 –4 and grill on high for 10 minutes.
• 2.Wash and slice the tomatoes, shred the spinach and grate the cheese.
• 3.Turn the fish fingers over and grill on the second side for 2 minutes; no longer.
• 4.Cover each batch of fish fingers with a layer of spinach and top with the slices of tomato and cheese; grill for a few more minutes and serve. N.B. Oven chips don’t take longer than half an hour, so put some on before you start if you’ve got another five or ten minutes to spare.

SMOKED SALMON AND TAGLIATELLI

For extra speed use fresh tagliatelle, but be careful not to let it overcook before you return it to the pan with the smoked salmon and crème fraiche. (You could also add a few prawns at the same time if you like.)

Best served with salad (cucumber, watercress or baby leaf spinach and avocado) or green vegetables (French beans, mange tout or sugar snap peas).

SERVES 4 –6:

Tagliatelle (one generous handful per person)
3–4 slices of smoked salmon
4 tbsp crème fraiche (approx)
Baby plum or cherry tomatoes
Parsley
Balsamic vinegar

METHOD

• 1.Slice the smoked salmon quite thinly, halve the tomatoes and sprinkle with balsamic vinegar.
• 2.Prepare the salad or whichever green vegetables you want to use, according to the instructions on the packet – a couple of minutes in the microwave should be all they need.
• 3.Simmer the tagliatelle in boiling water until it’s just done, then strain through a colander.
• 4.Soften the crème fraiche in the still-warm pan over the lowest heat before returning the pasta to the saucepan with the smoked salmon, crème fraiche and parsley.
• 5.Stir well and gently warm through for a couple of minutes before serving with the tomatoes and vegetables.

FASTEST-EVER FISHCAKES

MAKES 6:

1 large tin of salmon (red or pink)
2 oz (50 g) self-raising flour
2 eggs, beaten
2 tbsp lemon juice
Parsley
Salt & pepper
Oil

METHOD

• 1.Drain the tin of salmon and mash the fish in a bowl with a fork. (Pick out any extra big bits of skin but leave the bones in and crush them up with the fish.)
• 2.Add the beaten eggs, lemon juice, seasoning and sifted flour and mix well.
• 3.Warm enough oil in a large frying pan to cover the bottom of the pan and drop spoonfuls of the mixture into the hot oil, pressing gently into shape with the slice and turning once. Serve with lemon wedges and salad.

THINGS ON TOAST

Just in case you need reminding, the following things are all brilliant on toast and help transform a couple of slices of bread into a makeshift meal...

• 1.BAKED BEANS: Spread the toast with butter and Marmite first and top the beans with grated cheese.
• 2.OILY FISH: Tinned sardines or mackerel in tomato sauce; both good sources of those Omega 3 fatty acids we’re always hearing about. Toast the bread on one side, turn over and top with the mashed-up fish; no need for butter, but especially good with lashings of tomato ketchup.
• 3.TUNA AND CHEESE MELT: Tuna mixed with grated cheese; toast and serve as above.
• 4.CHEESE: Topped and grilled with thinly sliced tomato, or on its own with a dash of Worcester sauce, or a spoonful of sweet pickle or chutney.
• 5.EGGS: Scrambled or poached, with sliced ham or leftover cold sausages.
• 6.PATE: Chicken liver pate with mustard, or kipper pate (see Chapter 9: Not Only, But Also).

ALSO TRY...

• 1.CHICKEN & LEEK CASSEROLE: (see Chapter 10: Weekly Menu Planning).
• 2.OMELETTES: (see Chapter 10: Weekly Menu Planning) .
• 3.SWEET & SOUR CHICKEN: (see Chapter 3: Make Dinner, Not Excuses).