WRITING AND YOUR IDENTITY

Invent yourself as a writer

Your writing self may well express an aspect of your personality which is normally hidden from the world. Perhaps you have a high-powered job which requires you to be very ‘left-brain’, while your writing self is poetic and vulnerable. Or the reverse – you write horror, crime or erotic fiction and teach infants by day. Perhaps you write as a person of the opposite gender. If you write in a variety of genres, you may have several writing selves.

In order to manage any tension between these different facets of yourself, or to prevent one popping out at an inappropriate time, try ‘fleshing them out’, much as you would your fictional characters. Make them the subject of timed writing or a complete play or short story. Perhaps one of the functions of pen-names is to allow the writing self (or selves) and the everyday self to lead separate lives. In that case a writing self might benefit from the construction of his or her full autobiography.

Value yourself and your writing

How do you feel about writing as an occupation or pass-time? When you talk about it, do you feel proud – or embarrassed? Do you use the words “only’ or ‘just’ when you describe your work? Do you call it ‘scribbling’? Do you think of writing as a worthy pursuit or, if you are a professional, as a ‘proper’ job? Do you feel justified in claiming time and space to do it? How do you feel about the writing you produce? Are you confident enough to submit it to publishers?

How do you cope with rejection letters? Have feelings about yourself as a writer affected your attitude to any of the suggestions in this chapter? For example, do you feel it is worth following the physical programme, setting up a workspace, claiming time, collecting a ‘tool kit’? Are other things/other people ‘more important?’ Do you feel you are kidding yourself that you can do this?

It may be a while before you can give positive answers to these questions and really mean it but, with perseverance it happens. An ‘invented self’ can be a huge help in this respect. A self that is feeling positive and strong can give the less confident one a pep-talk.

A supportive attitude from those close to you is also invaluable. A friend at the beginning of her writing career heard her husband tell a caller, ‘My wife is a writer and cannot be disturbed.’ She felt she could do anything after that.