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How to Quell Your Fears About Relocating

relocating to a new home

Let’s face it, relocating somewhere new can be daunting, even if you are moving to your ideal location by the beach, in the sun. In this article, self-confessed relocation junkie Natalie Trice explains how you can deal with feeling of doubts, anxiety and fear about your big move.

Feelings of anxiety and worry are totally natural when making a major life change, but they shouldn’t put you off making your dreams become a reality; maybe they are even factors that can make you more determined to strike out and do this.

‘You’re so lucky to live by the sea,’ is something people say to me all the time, but as much as I love being here, it has absolutely nothing to do with luck, nothing at all.

What those friends see, as with so much of our digitally processed twenty-first century lives, are the highlights, the show reels, and, yes, a little bit of showing off. My Instagram grid is scattered with beach breakfasts, there are Facebook videos of us surfing in silky waters, and sublime sunsets across the horizon will often come up on my feeds.

However, none of these seaside scenarios magically appeared overnight. Each single image is an insight into our relocation dream that took meticulous planning, a steely determination and the steadfast belief that packing up and moving on was right for us.

If you have a fire in your soul that won’t be quashed until you live somewhere that truly feels like home, I hear you and I hope these tips will help you make the change of a lifetime.


Block out the noise

Everyone from your aunt, brother, best friend and even the postie will have an opinion about you moving. It’s too far away.

‘It rains all the time.’

‘It’s too cold.’

‘You won’t know anyone.’

‘The job market will be tough to crack.’

When we were planning to move to Devon, I heard all of this and more, but rather than putting me off, it made me more determined to relocate and find my little piece of seaside heaven.

Yes, they may well have your best interests at heart, and they will miss you, but as the saying goes, ‘if you love someone, set them free’, and that’s so true in this case.

Listen to them, consider their comments but please do not let their worries become noise in your head that leaves you wondering ‘what if’.


Make a list

We make pros and cons lists when it comes to a new job or dating someone after a breakup, and doing the same with relocating can be a great idea.

Firstly, think of what those worries are and get them down on paper or your laptop.

It could mean a new school for the kids, a longer commute into work and more nights away from home so you will be flying solo for the first few months.

Then, consider the pros, be that smaller class sizes, time to take part in a community project in the evenings or simply being able to sit down in the evenings and enjoy a glass of wine and the peace and quiet of living in the countryside.

Add to these lists and work out which ones really are problems and which ones are just there to make you doubt what you are doing.


Visualise success

Lying awake at 4am wondering if you are making the right move won’t do anything other than lead you to be tired, emotional and unable to make a considered decision.

If you’re letting the possibility of things going wrong put you off even giving things a go, then you are never going to be able to make bold plans and big decisions.

Yes, it is possible that this won’t work for you, but there is a big chance that it could be the best thing you ever do and, as you sip sangria in Sardinia, you will wonder why you ever doubted your idea.

So, while your partner is snoring without a worry in the world about your move, take some deep breaths, close your eyes and picture that dream home. Think how good it would feel to have made such a big change. Picture the view over the mountains when you open the curtains, or the reflection of the river as you walk to have coffee in that little Welsh village you saw on TV and hankered over for years.

Before you know it, you’ll be drifting off to sleep dreaming of pastures new.


Reframe your worries  

Every time a negative thought comes into your head, write it down, talk it over with someone (choose someone who isn’t against the idea) to get some perspective, and, if you can, reframe that scenario.

‘I won’t make any friends’ can be reframed as an opportunity: perhaps you could join the local gym and meet new people who love HIIT and spinning classes.

‘Finding a new job will be hard’ can be viewed as an opportunity to reassess what you really want to do and may even lead you to consider retraining to do something you love.

‘I will miss my family’ comes up a lot with people, but maybe you don’t see them that much anyway and the move will mean having to catch up on FaceTime each week and planning for them to come and visit you in your new home.

This is a little like the pros and cons list, but with this you are really considering the possibilities that relocation can bring and gives you a solid starting point for making long lasting changes that will have sustained impact for your growth and happiness.


Be brave

I am a big believer in being brave and agree with Glennon Doyle when she says that we can do hard things.

I mean, how did I make the move to Leeds at 18, Tokyo at 22 and then move my entire family to Devon in my forties if I wasn’t brave, and a little strong willed?

Yes, you might be scared, and you might not be 100 per cent confident in your decision right now, but nothing in this life is certain so I urge you to go out there and find somewhere you truly want to live and make that place home.

Good luck – you have totally got this.