Are you the author of your own life?
The need for authenticity – where what we say and do reflects what we truly think and feel – usually lies at the heart of our search for true happiness. Professor Stephen Joseph, author of Authentic: How to be Yourself and Why it Matters, provides a quiz for you to reflect if you are responsible for your own happiness, or if you let others sway your decisions. Are you Authentic?
There is a famous saying that to be the author of your own life you must be sure not to let someone else hold the pen. What this means is that we take responsibility for the direction our lives take and what is important to us.
Sadly, however, too many of us hand that responsibility over to other people to make our decisions for us and to tell us what matters. Perhaps we have a set of rules about how to live that we have been carrying around with us since childhood that we have never stopped to question. Or perhaps we desire to please other people in our lives and strive for their approval by doing what it is that they want us to do even though we would prefer not. Some will be heavily influenced by family and friends about what course to study at university, and may later come to regret not following their own passions. Some will enter romantic relationships and even marriage against their better judgement because of their desire not to upset their partner.
Ask yourself the following questions:
- Do you feel free to make your own choices?
- Do you think it is important to vote in political elections?
- Do you regularly eat healthy food?
- Do you usually stand your ground on your decisions even when it upsets other people?
- Do you have a clear idea what you want to achieve with your life?
- Do you usually refuse to do things that don’t feel right for you?
- Do you respect yourself?
- Do you feel free to express your views and opinions?
- Do you feel you can be yourself on a day to day basis?
- Do you try to keep yourself well informed about events in the world?
If you said yes to all or most of the ten questions it sounds like you are the author of your own life. You recognize that you are the one that is ultimately responsible for yourself, your directions in life, and for your part in creating your place in the world. If you said no to any of the questions, it may be that this will give you a clue about ways in which you have not taken your responsibility for your life and handed your responsibility over to others in some way. Use this to think about changes that you might consider making. To find out more: www.authenticityformula.com
Stephen Joseph is a professor of psychology, health and social care at the University of Nottingham, UK, where he is co-director of the Centre for Trauma, Resilience and Growth and an honorary consultant psychologist in psychotherapy. He has published more than two hundred academic papers, seven academic books and is the author of What Doesn’t Kill Us (Piatkus). He is often asked to comment in the media on topical events relating to his work
